Oh My....
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Coco as a Mermaid
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
An Amy Winehouse Nip
AMY WINEHOUSE HAS NEW BOOBS!!!!!!No more to add. Oh except this is what her dad said about HIS DAUGHTERS TITS:
"(She's) fantastic. Her boobs are great as well! She looks absolutely fantastic.
"I didn't have to pay for it (boob job), that's all I know. I didn't have to pay for the boobs.
"There is no total recovery, it''s a recovery and if you look back to where we were a year ago, we are on a different planet.
We are in a different space and a different time and (Amy is) a different person."
Yes, we are now on planet boob. Thanks dad!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Semi-Awesome YouTube Comments
Go to Awesome YouTube Comments for a few chuckles. Or don't. I can't live your life for you, but if you follow my instructions YOU could live MINE!
“ I laughed, I cried, I pissed in my pants. An instant classic! ”
“ i don’t think you would be driving…. while taking a shit… ”
“ its from batman returns, the most sensitive of all the batmans ”
Police Sketches Can be Fun
I would be the worst witness to a crime ever. I once spent 25 minutes chasing a dog, thinking it was mine, only to find it had a big penis attached to it. Well nobody told me Rizzo weren't packing heat, day'um.
Does that story even relate to this story? Whatever.
I could never understand how police sketches work. I could probably tell you what they smelled like, for I can name every flavour of lynx, rexona and impulse ever released, but what their nose looked like? Bitch, please, I'm a busy woman searching for pennies in the gutter. How else am I gonna get home from the free soup kitchen?
Which doesn't really bring me here, but let's just say it did...
I very much enjoyed this collection of bizarre police sketches. Check it out.... fool!
Does that story even relate to this story? Whatever.
I could never understand how police sketches work. I could probably tell you what they smelled like, for I can name every flavour of lynx, rexona and impulse ever released, but what their nose looked like? Bitch, please, I'm a busy woman searching for pennies in the gutter. How else am I gonna get home from the free soup kitchen?
Which doesn't really bring me here, but let's just say it did...
I very much enjoyed this collection of bizarre police sketches. Check it out.... fool!
Reverse Photobombs
Here is a somewhat stupid collection of Reverse PhotoBombs.
I chose to go with the picture above, because that is probably my arse up there.
The whole world has seen my butt. It hangs out with wild abandon.
My Perfect Date
Has this woman been reading my diary?!
It's like she is looking into my very soul....
It's like she is looking into my very soul....
Noah Cyrus Phone Home
This is nine year old Noah Cyrus, Miley's little sister, off to enjoy an evening in the Playboy grotto.
Now first up, isn't Noah a boys name? As in Noah's Ark? As in that hot dredded tennis player Noah Whatever The F is surname was? Um Noah...well the dude that built the ark?!
OK, I may be wrong, and let's face it, it wouldn't be the first time.
Besides, there are bigger things to worry about here, like for example, has Billy Ray taken up dentistry?
Are you dawgs fer real?!
Red lipstick?!
Get this child in a snuggy and take her to an oral surgeon stat.
Please see my Halloween Hell post below for a cautionary tale regarding dressing as a slut too early. Surely there is something in between pumpkins and whores? For the love of all that is sacred, whatever happened to ghosts?!
Actually, whatever happened to ET?!
Flying Undies
Underpants are cool. Flying underpants are cooler.
Wow, look at them go!
Imagine looking out of your Virgin Blue window and copping that! That would be worth the price of the ticket alone!
Some dude was so inspired by this he constructed his own pair of parachuting panties. This world is truly filled with awesome.
Wow, look at them go!
Imagine looking out of your Virgin Blue window and copping that! That would be worth the price of the ticket alone!
Some dude was so inspired by this he constructed his own pair of parachuting panties. This world is truly filled with awesome.
He's 45! GROSS!
The grossest thing in the world is someone who is old and trying to act cool and with it.
You know the type; wearing disgusting rats-tails, grinding their pleather pants on teenagers in bars, shopping at supre.
These types remind me of the Donnas song Dirty Denim;
"You look like you've only slept for an hour
You smell like you haven't taken a shower
And your hair is so dirty
It makes you look like you're 30!"
Haha that always cracks me up. Thirty is GROSS!
Don't get me wrong, I love people aging disgracefully, but please, put down the Paul Robinson denim jacket and skinny tie. No one is enjoying it.
You know the type; wearing disgusting rats-tails, grinding their pleather pants on teenagers in bars, shopping at supre.
These types remind me of the Donnas song Dirty Denim;
"You look like you've only slept for an hour
You smell like you haven't taken a shower
And your hair is so dirty
It makes you look like you're 30!"
Haha that always cracks me up. Thirty is GROSS!
Don't get me wrong, I love people aging disgracefully, but please, put down the Paul Robinson denim jacket and skinny tie. No one is enjoying it.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Halloween Hell
When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to watch Young Talent Time because everyone on it was a slut. That didn't stop me from naming my Cabbage Patch Kid Bevan, after my one true love who was eerily name Bevan too! *SWOON* What a HUNK!
So because my folks were such straights Halloween wasn't really *done* in our house. I did, however, go to one Halloween party and in a troubling precognition of what my adult body would turn out like, I was dressed like this kid:
As the years went on, I found I was typecast. I would always be the round, jolly orange girl in the corner. High school was hell.
Then I met a man with a similar upbringing. He also wasn't allowed to watch YTT. He wasn't even allowed to watch the Brady Bunch because, you guessed it, everyone on it was a slut.
The pumpkin dude is ok, but we find "congress" to be difficult due to our round shapes. We have consulted obesity websites, but all those tips require a large member. So here I am, rotund, orange and uselessly married to this dude:
Thanks to my parents early imput, the trajectory of my life has been globular and lame. In my twilight years I will look like this:
I often wonder how my life might have turned out if my parents had dress me like this when I was three:
As the years passed I would have got just that little bit more sexier. Darryn O'Malley probably would have asked me to the year 3 Halloween Disco if he had known this was gonna pop out:
Year six would have been all hot babes and fast cars. Damn my parents and their conservitive, pumpkin loving values.
I probably would never have dropped out of uni and settled into a life of orange mediocrity. I could have flown out of the bible belt on my vibrating broom. I'd probably land in Hughs grotto, and you would be tuning in to watch me on channel E right now!
I would have married well, probably to a man of the cloth and a woman of the wicca persuasion. Damn things could have been good.
So at this time of year, I reflect on what could have been. As I step into another form fitting pumpkin suit, I look at my pumpkin dude and think to myself "If only I had been allowed to be a slut all those years ago".
Parents, take heed! Every pumpkin shaped costume is doing your kid damage. Get that beyatch into a corset and suspenders stat. There really is nothing worse than being a wall pumpkin.
So because my folks were such straights Halloween wasn't really *done* in our house. I did, however, go to one Halloween party and in a troubling precognition of what my adult body would turn out like, I was dressed like this kid:
As the years went on, I found I was typecast. I would always be the round, jolly orange girl in the corner. High school was hell.
Then I met a man with a similar upbringing. He also wasn't allowed to watch YTT. He wasn't even allowed to watch the Brady Bunch because, you guessed it, everyone on it was a slut.The pumpkin dude is ok, but we find "congress" to be difficult due to our round shapes. We have consulted obesity websites, but all those tips require a large member. So here I am, rotund, orange and uselessly married to this dude:
Thanks to my parents early imput, the trajectory of my life has been globular and lame. In my twilight years I will look like this:
I often wonder how my life might have turned out if my parents had dress me like this when I was three:
As the years passed I would have got just that little bit more sexier. Darryn O'Malley probably would have asked me to the year 3 Halloween Disco if he had known this was gonna pop out:
Year six would have been all hot babes and fast cars. Damn my parents and their conservitive, pumpkin loving values.
I probably would never have dropped out of uni and settled into a life of orange mediocrity. I could have flown out of the bible belt on my vibrating broom. I'd probably land in Hughs grotto, and you would be tuning in to watch me on channel E right now!
I would have married well, probably to a man of the cloth and a woman of the wicca persuasion. Damn things could have been good.
So at this time of year, I reflect on what could have been. As I step into another form fitting pumpkin suit, I look at my pumpkin dude and think to myself "If only I had been allowed to be a slut all those years ago".
Parents, take heed! Every pumpkin shaped costume is doing your kid damage. Get that beyatch into a corset and suspenders stat. There really is nothing worse than being a wall pumpkin.
Twilight Nipple Scene
I have never seen Twilight, but I am hoping that by posting that title, tweens will flock to Busting Out and check out Amy Winhouses' pubes.
As for this R Patz character, I am not sure. I guess he's OK. He's not all that though. I mean, he looks a little bit special and smelly.
Well anyway, here is a deleted scene from Twilight featuring an amazing nipple shot. You are welcome.
Ps. Can someone let me know where that Amy Winehouse apostrophe belongs. Despite dabbling in a communication degree I have no idea how to spell and/or write proper.
As for this R Patz character, I am not sure. I guess he's OK. He's not all that though. I mean, he looks a little bit special and smelly.
Well anyway, here is a deleted scene from Twilight featuring an amazing nipple shot. You are welcome.
Ps. Can someone let me know where that Amy Winehouse apostrophe belongs. Despite dabbling in a communication degree I have no idea how to spell and/or write proper.
Beat On The Brat
Beat On the Brat is an awesome song. Here. Let's listen to it:
So romantic, don't you think?!
So that song is the raddness, but what is not bodacious is beating up kids in real life. What's even worse is beating up a kid 'cause he is pouring sand into another kids butt crack. Sometimes it is just one of those days.
Hitting these kids only leads to this kind of behaviour:
Oh my flying spaghetti monster! That must have been some beating!
I once was babysitting a kid who tore all his clothes off and stuck a hose up his bum. The hose was ON!
But did I hit him? No! Once the hose had been gently removed I ran into the bathroom and laffed my arse off. And now I am writing about it on the internet!
Anyways, the only way to deal with this kind of thing is to remix it into an hilarious song. Enjoy.
So romantic, don't you think?!
So that song is the raddness, but what is not bodacious is beating up kids in real life. What's even worse is beating up a kid 'cause he is pouring sand into another kids butt crack. Sometimes it is just one of those days.
Hitting these kids only leads to this kind of behaviour:
Oh my flying spaghetti monster! That must have been some beating!
I once was babysitting a kid who tore all his clothes off and stuck a hose up his bum. The hose was ON!
But did I hit him? No! Once the hose had been gently removed I ran into the bathroom and laffed my arse off. And now I am writing about it on the internet!
Anyways, the only way to deal with this kind of thing is to remix it into an hilarious song. Enjoy.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sparrow Is Not A Name
Nicole Richie has named her newborn son Sparrow. What a dickhead.If they were naming him after this hot slut....
...they have failed. His first name was Captain. I guess the father is in a band called Good Charlotte. They are obviously all idiots.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Hillary Duffs Nips
I always thought the Hillster, or perhaps the Duffster, was a cutie pie. I especially liked it when she got those massive horse chomper veneers. It's all the rage! Don't change the record and do not turn the page, no matter WHAT Betty Boo tells you to do.
Anyway, here she is, highbeaming on some movie set for some upcoming load of crap about some girl looking for love instead of looking for cock. Lame.
How Much For That Jesus In The Dunny?
Man, my parents HATE Ikea. I've only been with them once, and they could not handle the regimented walkway at all! HAHAHA I laughed at them and said "you guys are sooooo old. Ikea is for hip young things. Here, have a doobie".
Dad cracked the shits, faked a diabetic hypo and left the store, completely disregarding the Ikea path in his hasty retreat. Luckily for all of us, the Ikea security chased his arse down and order was restored.
Once we recovered dad from the Ikea interrogation room, I got my stuff and told my dad he would have to build it.
I haven't seen a face that purple since Violet Beauregarde got all fat and shit in Willy Wonka. Man it was funny!
Anyway, maybe if we had been in Glasgow instead of Homebush, papa would have chilled out after seeing the face of his Lord in the turin dunny.
You should really read this article. The dude quoted has usurped Captain Faggo as my God.
There is also an awesome bitch fight going on over whether it is Jesus, Gandolf or one of the dudes from ABBA.
Oh, and parents, if you are reading this, you are not alone. "It's certainly not what you expect to find in an Ikea store. Mind you, you need a little divine intervention to get out of here sometimes."
And this is the word of the Lord
Amen.
Dad cracked the shits, faked a diabetic hypo and left the store, completely disregarding the Ikea path in his hasty retreat. Luckily for all of us, the Ikea security chased his arse down and order was restored.
Once we recovered dad from the Ikea interrogation room, I got my stuff and told my dad he would have to build it.
I haven't seen a face that purple since Violet Beauregarde got all fat and shit in Willy Wonka. Man it was funny!
Anyway, maybe if we had been in Glasgow instead of Homebush, papa would have chilled out after seeing the face of his Lord in the turin dunny.
You should really read this article. The dude quoted has usurped Captain Faggo as my God.There is also an awesome bitch fight going on over whether it is Jesus, Gandolf or one of the dudes from ABBA.
Oh, and parents, if you are reading this, you are not alone. "It's certainly not what you expect to find in an Ikea store. Mind you, you need a little divine intervention to get out of here sometimes."
And this is the word of the Lord
Amen.
I LOVE THE INTERNET!
Welcome to the internet. I invented it just over four years ago. Do you like it? I sure hope you do! It took a lot of work to get it up and running!
You can use the internet to find out all sorts of things. What is the name of that bird I just saw pooing on my car? How many animals really did die in the making of Milo and Otis? Why does Billy Bob Thonrton only eat orange food?
All this and more can be discovered on my magical invention, the internet. Here is a video to explain more:
You can use the internet to find out all sorts of things. What is the name of that bird I just saw pooing on my car? How many animals really did die in the making of Milo and Otis? Why does Billy Bob Thonrton only eat orange food?
All this and more can be discovered on my magical invention, the internet. Here is a video to explain more:
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Hollywood Glamour
Time for a Busting Out style report, and today we have three unique and challenging looks.
First up we have the amazing Ms. Versace:
GOOD! Gorgeous! Stunning work here Donatella! Don't let anybody stop you baby. Versace is all about risks, and honey, this outfit looks like both a fashion and a medical risk.
Do not be giving Donatella any grief. This poor bitch has been through enough. She lost her septum in a tragic caving accident, her brother was murdered, her daughter is anorexic, and she looks like Lady GaGa's mangina. ENOUGH I SAY! SHe is fab and you wish you were her.
Let us move on.
OK, what the fuck is going on here Lindsay?
That dusty pink thing looks like my nannas toilet seat cover, and now that I think about it, the dress underneath looks like my nannas bedroom quilt.
Looking even closer, that face, that glazed expression...OH MY FUCKING GOD, NANNA?! Get back to the Glamour Retirement Village stat! You don't want to miss the creamed corn and trifle bingo night do you?!
Fernando is calling the numbers tonight, sweetheart.
Let us clean our minds with this next hot look:
Captain Faggo is my GOD! That pantless dude behind Captain Faggo is all "hell yeah, go Captain Faggo! Work it beyatch!".
When Captain Faggo is not hanging around in parks drinking goon and playing shuttlecock, he can be found soaring through the skies sprinkling Captain Faggo glitter wherever he goes.
Heed my words, Captain Faggo is going to save us from global warming. Remember this face. He is your saviour.
First up we have the amazing Ms. Versace:
GOOD! Gorgeous! Stunning work here Donatella! Don't let anybody stop you baby. Versace is all about risks, and honey, this outfit looks like both a fashion and a medical risk.
Do not be giving Donatella any grief. This poor bitch has been through enough. She lost her septum in a tragic caving accident, her brother was murdered, her daughter is anorexic, and she looks like Lady GaGa's mangina. ENOUGH I SAY! SHe is fab and you wish you were her.
Let us move on.
OK, what the fuck is going on here Lindsay?
That dusty pink thing looks like my nannas toilet seat cover, and now that I think about it, the dress underneath looks like my nannas bedroom quilt.
Looking even closer, that face, that glazed expression...OH MY FUCKING GOD, NANNA?! Get back to the Glamour Retirement Village stat! You don't want to miss the creamed corn and trifle bingo night do you?!
Fernando is calling the numbers tonight, sweetheart.
Let us clean our minds with this next hot look:
Captain Faggo is my GOD! That pantless dude behind Captain Faggo is all "hell yeah, go Captain Faggo! Work it beyatch!".When Captain Faggo is not hanging around in parks drinking goon and playing shuttlecock, he can be found soaring through the skies sprinkling Captain Faggo glitter wherever he goes.
Heed my words, Captain Faggo is going to save us from global warming. Remember this face. He is your saviour.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
9th Century Form Letter 4 Drunks
This letter is being photocopied and laminated for my daily use.
TRANSLATION
Yesterday, having drunk too much, I was intoxicated as to pass all bounds; but none of the rude and coarse language I used was uttered in a conscious state. The next morning, after hearing others speak on the subject, I realised what had happened, whereupon I was overwhelmed with confusion and ready to sink into the earth with shame.
Yes, we have all been there. A timeless problem really.
You should really check this site out, Letters Of Note. It's one of the best things going baby!
TRANSLATION
Yesterday, having drunk too much, I was intoxicated as to pass all bounds; but none of the rude and coarse language I used was uttered in a conscious state. The next morning, after hearing others speak on the subject, I realised what had happened, whereupon I was overwhelmed with confusion and ready to sink into the earth with shame.
Yes, we have all been there. A timeless problem really.
You should really check this site out, Letters Of Note. It's one of the best things going baby!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Playboys Slippery Slope
ARRRRR MY EYES MY EYES!
I was just thinking that I could do a follow up on the Marge Playboy spread by showing explicit fan art, but oh dear holy crazies in heaven, the internet took me places I wish I had never been!
OUTRAGEOUS!
People can be very, very wrong. URGH!
Ok. Well I just had to share with you my horror. If you google "Simpsons" and "Porn" you will find what I mean. I couldn't give a shit if it was Marge and Homer, but getting the kids involved.....WOAH! GROSS ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!
Am I gonna go to jail?
Please no! I didn't want to be there!
Here, lets look at some flowers!
Oh god, even they look disgusting now!
I was just thinking that I could do a follow up on the Marge Playboy spread by showing explicit fan art, but oh dear holy crazies in heaven, the internet took me places I wish I had never been!
OUTRAGEOUS!
People can be very, very wrong. URGH!
Ok. Well I just had to share with you my horror. If you google "Simpsons" and "Porn" you will find what I mean. I couldn't give a shit if it was Marge and Homer, but getting the kids involved.....WOAH! GROSS ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!
Am I gonna go to jail?
Please no! I didn't want to be there!
Here, lets look at some flowers!
Oh god, even they look disgusting now!
Imagine Babyz!
Classic Eames Polaroid Vid
I have a Spice Girls polaroid camera. It is USELESS now that you can't buy the film and that is possibly the shittiest thing to have happened E.V.E.R. IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.
PS This video was created by Charles and Ray Eames. My parents own an Eames chair and it is gonna be mine after I send them and my siblings off in an experimental balloon. MINE I TELLS YOU!
pps. Broke brain = bad writing. sorry.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Suri - Girl Interrupted
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train was moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
Jamie was sad last week after Lisa ran away, so she hung herself with a volleyball net.
Help me understand, Dais 'cause, I thought you didn't do Valium. Tell me how this safety net is working for you. Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin and pray for the courage to press down. Tell me how your *daddy* helps you cope with that. Illuminate me.
You think you're free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free. I can breathe. And you... will choke on your average fuckin' mediocre life!
Alright, listen. Tongue your meds tonight. After 1 o'clock checks Gretta always goes out for a smoke. Check the mirrors and if they're clear you go down to Hector's closet. It's near the art room and it will be open.
I am going to be the Cinderella at Walt Disney's new theme park, Susanna's gonna be Snow White. You can come if you want. You can be the Cocker Spaniel that eats spaghetti.
They didn't release you 'cause you're better, Daisy, they just gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knick-knacks... and eatin' his fuckin' chicken, fattening up like a prize fuckin' heifer?
You changed the scenery, but not the fucking situation - and the warden makes house calls. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he fucks you. What they don't know... is that you like it. Hmm? You like it.
Jamie was sad last week after Lisa ran away, so she hung herself with a volleyball net.
Help me understand, Dais 'cause, I thought you didn't do Valium. Tell me how this safety net is working for you. Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin and pray for the courage to press down. Tell me how your *daddy* helps you cope with that. Illuminate me.
You think you're free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free. I can breathe. And you... will choke on your average fuckin' mediocre life!
Alright, listen. Tongue your meds tonight. After 1 o'clock checks Gretta always goes out for a smoke. Check the mirrors and if they're clear you go down to Hector's closet. It's near the art room and it will be open.
I am going to be the Cinderella at Walt Disney's new theme park, Susanna's gonna be Snow White. You can come if you want. You can be the Cocker Spaniel that eats spaghetti.
They didn't release you 'cause you're better, Daisy, they just gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knick-knacks... and eatin' his fuckin' chicken, fattening up like a prize fuckin' heifer?You changed the scenery, but not the fucking situation - and the warden makes house calls. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he fucks you. What they don't know... is that you like it. Hmm? You like it.
Where The Wild Things Are
Maurice Sendak was asked by Dave Eggers "What do you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary? "
Read the rest of this fantastic interview with Maurice Sendak HERE. That is all.
Read the rest of this fantastic interview with Maurice Sendak HERE. That is all.Breakfast For Arnie
Detective John Kimble: Are these all your lunches?
[Boy shakes his head]
Detective John Kimble: You mean you eat other people's lunches?
[Boy nods]
Detective John Kimble: STOP IT!
WHAT A BABY!
(link)
Bruce Willis Peen
I am providing this as a community service. I in no way find Bruce Willis hot. NEVER, ever, ever have.
Anyway, here is the Willis willy if you would like to take a gander.
I will not insult your intelligence by reminding you that this link is not safe for work. What does that mean, anyway? Some people work in sex shops for your information, people who invent internet acronyms....
Anyway, here is the Willis willy if you would like to take a gander.
I will not insult your intelligence by reminding you that this link is not safe for work. What does that mean, anyway? Some people work in sex shops for your information, people who invent internet acronyms....
The Batman Kid
I'm loving these kids sick! FULLY SICK!
And the "special thanks to Dad" at the end? Shiyat. My Dad didn't even help me make my monkey magic stick when I was a kid. Arseholis Eruptus.
And the "special thanks to Dad" at the end? Shiyat. My Dad didn't even help me make my monkey magic stick when I was a kid. Arseholis Eruptus.
BOSOM Gig!
Don't forget that my band BOSOM is playing October 17th at the Roxbury! Come along and have a beer spilled on ya weave!
Regretsy Roolz OK!
I've been checking out the amazing website Regretsy since its inception, and it must be said, this shit just keeps getting better and better!
I don't have a cat, but I would hang that on the front porch in the off chance that MC Skat Kat passes my way anytime before autumn hits.
I was very upset to see that THIS piece was gone. I am not lying. I covet it!
Go get yourself some bargains for xmas. Secret Santa may never be the same again.
I don't have a cat, but I would hang that on the front porch in the off chance that MC Skat Kat passes my way anytime before autumn hits.I was very upset to see that THIS piece was gone. I am not lying. I covet it!
Go get yourself some bargains for xmas. Secret Santa may never be the same again.
Friday, October 09, 2009
School Of Pain
A while ago when my Dad was in hospital, he was fortunate enough to time his illness around the Billy Bass craze. I say fortunate because he received one as a gift from each of his children.
Did I mention that there are six of us?
That was very distressing for all involved.
Oh look, here are some distressed fish....
Did I mention that there are six of us?
That was very distressing for all involved.
Oh look, here are some distressed fish....
Call MC. Call MC Now
Once when I was in highschool I made a very dramatic entrance into the locker room doing MC Hammers crab dance.
My how we laughed. We laughed and laughed for hours and hours on end!
P.E was cancelled that day because everyone was laughing so much, half the class had broken ribs! This is a true story.
If only I had know MC Hammer was waiting on calls! I would have gone down to the school office phone and told him all about it.
My how we laughed. We laughed and laughed for hours and hours on end!
P.E was cancelled that day because everyone was laughing so much, half the class had broken ribs! This is a true story.
If only I had know MC Hammer was waiting on calls! I would have gone down to the school office phone and told him all about it.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
I am The Anti-linker!
When I stumbled upon this picture I thought to myself "that is one sweet picture, imma gonna put that on my blog". Then I was gonna link to the blog where I found it, for that is the law on the internet.That was until I saw how this particular person had tagged the picture. Can I have an AMEN for "KIDS" and "SEXY".
This is on the first page of google images when you search "kids".....
And THIS is on the first page of google images when you search "sexy"....
HAHA Actually, they are quite similar. Well that has put a dampener on my moral outrage. I'm still not gonna link to you though, because you use Comic Sans, and that is also against the law on the internet.Note: I have no idea why comic sans sux, but I always see geeks making jokes about it and I just want to fit in.
Parents and Nikki Webster and Stuff
This tumbler page is called I Hate My Parents, but for the life of me, I can't figure out why these kids would hate their's:
And this kid here has a TIGER!
You know whose parents I hate? I hate Websters parents. Not his original ones who died, but his adopted ones, the Papadapolisissssses. They always made fun of kids who couldn't say their names right, and that's a pretty hard name for a non Greek kid to say. Kid's are dumb and are still learning to talk! Geez louise, cut the idiots some slack!
Also Papa George had total PaedoFace. (Is the "a" and the "e" the wrong way round? I don't feel comfortable looking that one up right now!)
The mum (sorry MOM), was ok I guess. She was pretty hot.
"oooh we are so excited to have Webster in our lives. Get the balloons and fly him outta here!"
Did you know they were married in real life too? That grosses me out. Imagine if Karl and Susan were really married. Urgh. Thank god for everyone Susan is a lesbian. Actually Karl's pretty cute. I'd probably do him.
"I'd do you too Wiz"
Um, yeah, so anyway, Websters parents. What I want to know is what kind of moron would give such a tiny kid so many helium balloons? (And NO google image search, I did NOT mean Nikki Webster!)
(But you know I did get curious and looked for pictures of Nikki Webster holding balloons. I found none, but I did find some stupid mother [a parent I now also hate] who had posted a picture of her kids watching the olympics.
She wrote, "Note I thought the opening ceremony was great except for the Asian 'Nikki Webster', that wasnt very original."
You fucking bitch. Nikki Webster FLEW. Can YOU fly??? Didn't think so loser,, so sit the fuck down.
And as for that other little girl you refer to, her life became an Ashlee Simpsonesque lip synching hell! Join Websters parents at the back of the room!)
OK, where was I? Oh Websters parents. Yeah, they sucked. That mum couldn't cook for shit.
This kid is having a few problems with his parents as well. Man, parents are crap!
And this kid here has a TIGER!
You know whose parents I hate? I hate Websters parents. Not his original ones who died, but his adopted ones, the Papadapolisissssses. They always made fun of kids who couldn't say their names right, and that's a pretty hard name for a non Greek kid to say. Kid's are dumb and are still learning to talk! Geez louise, cut the idiots some slack!
Also Papa George had total PaedoFace. (Is the "a" and the "e" the wrong way round? I don't feel comfortable looking that one up right now!)
The mum (sorry MOM), was ok I guess. She was pretty hot.
"oooh we are so excited to have Webster in our lives. Get the balloons and fly him outta here!"Did you know they were married in real life too? That grosses me out. Imagine if Karl and Susan were really married. Urgh. Thank god for everyone Susan is a lesbian. Actually Karl's pretty cute. I'd probably do him.
"I'd do you too Wiz"Um, yeah, so anyway, Websters parents. What I want to know is what kind of moron would give such a tiny kid so many helium balloons? (And NO google image search, I did NOT mean Nikki Webster!)
(But you know I did get curious and looked for pictures of Nikki Webster holding balloons. I found none, but I did find some stupid mother [a parent I now also hate] who had posted a picture of her kids watching the olympics.
She wrote, "Note I thought the opening ceremony was great except for the Asian 'Nikki Webster', that wasnt very original."
You fucking bitch. Nikki Webster FLEW. Can YOU fly??? Didn't think so loser,, so sit the fuck down.
And as for that other little girl you refer to, her life became an Ashlee Simpsonesque lip synching hell! Join Websters parents at the back of the room!)
OK, where was I? Oh Websters parents. Yeah, they sucked. That mum couldn't cook for shit.
This kid is having a few problems with his parents as well. Man, parents are crap!
Community Service For The Fat and Dead
Are you dead?
Are you fat?
Is it difficult to find a piano case in your locality?
If so Goliath Caskets could be just the company you are looking for.
Providing compassionate service and MASSIVE coffins for dead, fat people, this buisness has been "serving the needs of the Oversized Casket Community for 25 years!".
This team of experts can provide care as well as practical advice for the Fat Deads (I'm gonna trademark that!) and their loved ones during their difficult time.
Important tips include
"Let the funeral director know that your loved one is one of the bigger people."
and
"You may need to be prepared to buy two grave plots. Talk to your funeral director; ask him or her to check the family grave site opening." (Shias La Bouf, how big are these people?!)
Don't let the Fat Deads in your life suffer the indignity of being buried in an elevator. Do the right thing. Call these people today.
Note: I am in no way affiliated with this company Note Pt2: I am from a long line of fatties. It's glandular.
And so, once again we thank God for being all powerful and all mighty "...and until we meet again may God hold you in the palm of His hand".
Are you fat?
Is it difficult to find a piano case in your locality?
If so Goliath Caskets could be just the company you are looking for.
Providing compassionate service and MASSIVE coffins for dead, fat people, this buisness has been "serving the needs of the Oversized Casket Community for 25 years!".
This team of experts can provide care as well as practical advice for the Fat Deads (I'm gonna trademark that!) and their loved ones during their difficult time.
Important tips include
"Let the funeral director know that your loved one is one of the bigger people."
and
"You may need to be prepared to buy two grave plots. Talk to your funeral director; ask him or her to check the family grave site opening." (Shias La Bouf, how big are these people?!)
Don't let the Fat Deads in your life suffer the indignity of being buried in an elevator. Do the right thing. Call these people today.
Note: I am in no way affiliated with this company Note Pt2: I am from a long line of fatties. It's glandular.
And so, once again we thank God for being all powerful and all mighty "...and until we meet again may God hold you in the palm of His hand".Saving Facebook From Me
Well, well, well... The people have spoken and I have listened. There are too many facebook distractions, there are too many people getting fired from work because of my Facebook postings, there are too many people falling in love with me and consequently, there are too many broken hearts in the world.
So it goes, Busting Out has returned! Sound the trumpets! Unfurl the banners! All the crap linkage you can handle in one easy to manage blog. Are you excited? I am. I will never clog up your Facebook feed again.
WOOT!
So it goes, Busting Out has returned! Sound the trumpets! Unfurl the banners! All the crap linkage you can handle in one easy to manage blog. Are you excited? I am. I will never clog up your Facebook feed again.
WOOT!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Prepare Ye For The Silly Season
Arrr yes, it is that time of year where we all go a little silly. We also become asinine, balmy, brainless, childish, crazy, dippy, dizzy, empty, empty-headed, fatuous, featherbrained, flighty, foolhardy, frivolous, harebrained, idiotic, ignorant, illogical, immature, imprudent, inane, inappropriate, inconsistent, irrational, irresponsible, ludicrous, meaningless, muddle-headed, nitwitted, nonsensical, pointless, preposterous, puerile, ridiculous, senseless, sheepheaded, simple, simpleminded, stupid, unintelligent, unreasonable, unwise, vacuous, witless .
This post was brought to you by Thesaurus.com
Worst Album Covers Of 2008?
Pitchfork have compiled their annual Worst Album Covers of the Year list for you to enjoy.
Meh. Whatever.
They put two on the list that I passionately disagree with.
THIS:
And THIS:
That is some AWESOME cover art!
For a better collection of all time awesomeness, head here. Much beauty awaits you.
Meh. Whatever.
They put two on the list that I passionately disagree with.
THIS:
And THIS:
That is some AWESOME cover art!
For a better collection of all time awesomeness, head here. Much beauty awaits you.
A Summer Essential
If the sun doesn't shine out of your arse, mayhaps you need one of these nifty devices. Sometimes the sun needs a little assssssistance. For those hard to reach areas.(WTF)
Getting Sexy in the KFC SINK!
I have a kentucky fried brain after too much beer and vodka, so nothing clever will be written here. Here is a story you may or may not like 'bout a bunch of trashy chicks who worked at KFC stripping down to their smalls and posing in the 'restaurants' industrial sink. You are welcome.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Men I Have Loved
Love is an elusive thing, yet I see and feel it everwhere.
As Christmas draws near, I hear the angel Colbert sing in unearthly tones, "You're so high". Could I love him more?
But when I am alone in the darkness of the night, the only love I seek is from Chris Dane Owens. Only his love can slay dragons.
As Christmas draws near, I hear the angel Colbert sing in unearthly tones, "You're so high". Could I love him more?
But when I am alone in the darkness of the night, the only love I seek is from Chris Dane Owens. Only his love can slay dragons.
My Amazing Grandma
Here is my nan;
Here is my nan battling NEO;
Here is my nan in her upcoming movie role;
And here is nan's new electro hit;
It's been a big week for her. I'll get her a nice box of Roses choccies for christmas.
Here is my nan battling NEO;
Here is my nan in her upcoming movie role;
And here is nan's new electro hit;
It's been a big week for her. I'll get her a nice box of Roses choccies for christmas.
Yahoo Answer Idiots
Sometimes when I am playing on the information SUPERHIGHWAY, I come across things that make me realise that perhaps I am not the dumbest kid on the block. This is one of those things.
Oh man, now I have been sucked in to Yahoo Answers. Christ is urging me to help the troubled lass who asked "Why do these two ugly Korean guys always stare at me?"
Dear God, what is the answer?!
Big Ass Jones!
Oh Jones, how I love you. Let me count the ways.
Check out his amazing life story HERE and then go store some shit!
Check out his amazing life story HERE and then go store some shit!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Portia De Rossi - Boobs From Afar
I was surveying my property the other day when I glanced out across my private beach and espyed two famous lesbians pashing upon my waters.
I zoomed in for a closer look and lo, hark, did my eyes deceive me?
Nay. For I would recognise Portia De Rossi's tits anywhere.
And who be that, legs akimber?
AHOY ELLEN!
I zoomed in for a closer look and lo, hark, did my eyes deceive me?
Nay. For I would recognise Portia De Rossi's tits anywhere.
And who be that, legs akimber?
AHOY ELLEN!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Charlton Heston Had A Small Cock
AIM: To prove that Charlton Heston had a small cock.
EQUIPMENT: My brain. The Internerd.
METHOD: I tinkered around the internerd with my brain until I found this photo of the deceased Charlton Hestons' basement.
CONCLUSION: Charlton Heston had a small cock.
EQUIPMENT: My brain. The Internerd.
METHOD: I tinkered around the internerd with my brain until I found this photo of the deceased Charlton Hestons' basement.
CONCLUSION: Charlton Heston had a small cock.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Best Line In a Movie?
I went to the Annandale last night to enjoy Cult Sinema's presentation of They Live.
Ooooh it was fun.....
Chase it down if you haven't seen it. The above scene should be encouragement enough.
If not - this is the lead actor;
I Love Amy Winehouse
Punch and sing, girlfriend. Punch. And. Sing.
The guy that was on the receiving end of the slugger was thrilled. It seems 25 yr old James Gostelow, was standing in front of someone who pegged a hat at Amys beehive. ( THE CHEEK!)
"I saw a hat being thrown from behind me and it hit Amy's beehive," he said. "She looked down, saw me looking up, and her elbow went for me.
"She caught my forehead, then someone may have shouted something from the back, which is when she went in again.
"At the end of the day it is all part of being at the front and being pushed by thousands of people. It is all part of the Glastonbury experience. I'm just pleased I got to see her. She did a great act.
"Not everyone can say they have been hit by Amy Winehouse. I just want to shake the person who threw the hat."
Now that is the way to react to violence peeps.
Peace out.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Rosemary West And Slade Bassist Were Engaged?
Did you know that in the early Noughties Rosemary West was engaged to Slade bass player David Glover?I sure as hell didn't, and serial killers are part of my bag, baby!
It seems they were writing to each other for a year before the short-lived engagement broke off after negative media publicity.
Glover was kicked out of Slade, Rosemary was sad for a bit, and that's that.
Before he ended the relationship, the bass playing bandit said "We've been writing to each other for a very long time.
"There are family members that I'm going to need to inform about this. I need time to prepare what I'm going to say to them."
Rose also sent this awesome letter to her lawyer, Leo Goatley ;
"I've fallen in love with one of the members of Slade.
"He's 36, six feet two, a professional musician and divorced with two children. . . we fell in love!
"I have a wedding to plan . . . if they allow it!"
Mr Goatley said: "It is clear he had not thought through the ramifications of a marriage to Rose.
"As soon as the chickens came home to roost, he just kind of panicked.
"But it makes you wonder why he was writing to her every day for a year and promising marriage if he was going to be put off so quickly."
I concur.
Glover, who appears to be an idiot, upon learning of West's decision not to appeal her conviction said;
"I firmly believe that Rosemary West was wrongly convicted of murder and was sorry that she felt unable to proceed.
"Since then we have become good friends although reports that we spoke every day and exchanged hundreds of love letters are completely untrue.
"The effect on my life of the publicity surrounding these reports has been completely devastating.
"I have lost my livelihood, a job that I loved and was proud to have.
"Most importantly my family and friends have been caused untold distress."
Oh Mama Weer All Crazee Now!
The End
By Me
Gene Simmons Sex Tape?
This is some truly disgusting shit. I think this may be the lamest root I have ever seen!
The one redeeming feature is the Foreigner soundtrack
Oh and I like how she won't kiss him....
watch for yourself HERE
very lame Gene, very lame Austrian energy drink spokesmodel. You both get a D minus.
The one redeeming feature is the Foreigner soundtrack
Oh and I like how she won't kiss him....
watch for yourself HERE
very lame Gene, very lame Austrian energy drink spokesmodel. You both get a D minus.
Double Blogging
Hello peeps, how are you?
Really?
A rash?
How exciting!
Just wanted to let you know that I am gonna be posting up here all my lame posts from the Myspace blog so if you came here from Myspace, all posts below catface will be fresh and exciting to you, all above will be old news.
That is all.
Over and Out.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Bitch Fight At Sonic Youth
Last night I went to see Sonic Youth perform the entire Daydream Nation album at the Enmore. It was shit hot, I lie not!
I had the best position front side - no barrier (except for an occassional bouncer visit), and a wall of beer next to the amp....SWEET!
Then this bitch with anorexic fuzz all over her pushed up behind me, held her arm over my head and began flash photagraphing the band on her fuckin Blackberry.
A few snaps and I wouldn't have minded. Heck, being asked if I minded having her skinny bitch arm hanging over my head would have been nice too. But this cuntress just kept going - I swear she was planning on documenting the entire gig, bulbs flashing, over my perfect hairdo.
Na ugh. I said to the slut "can you stop that now? You have heaps of pics, just enjoy the band" and whore face said to me "fuck off"!
Oh no she din'it.
Then she did this little hip wiggle to make it look like she gave a shit about the music and I shoved her and told her to fuck off right back...it was ON!
She just kept calling me a bitch which was lame in comparison with my "cuntress" call, and she knew it. Then I told her to go back to the Hills (lame reality show about blonde bitches covered in anorexic fuzz wandering around being lame skanks) and she left. On my way out she came up and gave me a little shove and I shoved right back - bitch flew into a wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub
Don't fuck with the master!
UPDATE - sorry wrong link, but go there anyway!
as I was saying, flew into the wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub!
I had the best position front side - no barrier (except for an occassional bouncer visit), and a wall of beer next to the amp....SWEET!
Then this bitch with anorexic fuzz all over her pushed up behind me, held her arm over my head and began flash photagraphing the band on her fuckin Blackberry.
A few snaps and I wouldn't have minded. Heck, being asked if I minded having her skinny bitch arm hanging over my head would have been nice too. But this cuntress just kept going - I swear she was planning on documenting the entire gig, bulbs flashing, over my perfect hairdo.
Na ugh. I said to the slut "can you stop that now? You have heaps of pics, just enjoy the band" and whore face said to me "fuck off"!
Oh no she din'it.
Then she did this little hip wiggle to make it look like she gave a shit about the music and I shoved her and told her to fuck off right back...it was ON!
She just kept calling me a bitch which was lame in comparison with my "cuntress" call, and she knew it. Then I told her to go back to the Hills (lame reality show about blonde bitches covered in anorexic fuzz wandering around being lame skanks) and she left. On my way out she came up and gave me a little shove and I shoved right back - bitch flew into a wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub
Don't fuck with the master!
UPDATE - sorry wrong link, but go there anyway!
as I was saying, flew into the wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Check out the Band Blog!
hey champs...
sorry for the lack of blog...I've been doing a little blogging over at my bands Myspace page if you need to be entertained...
Check out the BOSOM page here.
LUV YA SEXIES!
sorry for the lack of blog...I've been doing a little blogging over at my bands Myspace page if you need to be entertained...
Check out the BOSOM page here.
LUV YA SEXIES!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
t.A.t.U - Now With Added Sperm
Russian lesbian pop sensations, t.A.t.U have added penis to the mix somewhere along the way, judging from that preggers belly....
ENJOY!
ENJOY!
Friday, December 21, 2007
And Leon's Getting Larger
Cher is ashamed of her fat lesbian daughter, or something like that. Once I saw this picture I got horny and couldn't keep reading.
Find out for yourselves!
All I want For Xmas
Yeah, as I was saying, all i want for Christmas is.....Larry Birkhead and Britney Spears to get together!And guess what?
It's not outside the realms of possibilty.
Larry, Anna Nicole Smiths baby-daddy has a crush on Brits!
"I think Britney is sexy," he has announced to the world, further cementing the worlds opinion of him as a fine judge of character when choosing a mate.
Some booner or other has said "Larry has a thing for vulnerable blondes - and no one seems more vulnerable than Britney these days," adding that Larry finds being a single dad challenging, and is looking to date a single woman with children.
HAHAHA! Please happen and please get MTV onto this straight away.
ps. Brits is getting her kids hair tested for pot residue....god I missed you all!
Whacko's Lips Explode!
OK, so Michael Jackson is not normal. Yes?He is a delicate and precious flower. Yes?
Life may be beautiful but it is also fraught with danger. Yes?
YES!
My arm has 3 massive burns on it at the moment resulting from my attempts to iron and cook. Martha I am not...and danger is EVERYWHERE.
My next door neighbour asked me if I had become a cutter, that's how much I stuffed up my little home economics adventure, but again I digress....
So Michael was playing with his 'son' the other day, and his son BURST HIS LIP!!!!!!!!!!
As in POPPED IT!
"He was whacked in the face accidentally by his younger son Prince Michael II while playing around and part of Jackson's upper lip collapsed.
"That mishap led an hysterical Jacko to make a beeline for the plastic surgeon for a bit of quickie repair work."
HAHA! Imagine living next door to this white woman!
The worst my neighbours get is, "hey, I'm locked out", or "did you just hear/smell that massive fart I just did?", or "hey check out my massive rack in this new outfit!"
Michael would be all like "sorry for disturbing you but I think there's a nose in my soup", or "that postman is so ignorant, he just called me Terri Hatcher. It's just ignorance" etc.
So bottom line is, Michael Jackson was playing with his 5 year old son and his lips disintegrated.
This has been my second favorite story today
x
The Turkey Slap Diaries
Have you heard our latest toon Turkey Slap?Go to our Myspace and give your ears an early Xmas treat!
It's all killer no filler, right? But what you haven't heard is the TRUE tale of our Turkey Slap recording (unless you're in Bosom, and if you are, hey dudes, see you at rehersal!)
So this romantic lovesong was recorded in a Sydney studio, lets call it Budhha Studios, recently.
When we told our engineer the song was called Turkey Slap, he ejaculated (words out of his mouth, not semen from his pants, numnuts); "I love Camilla!"
A bit of background for those of you not in the know... Camilla was a housemate on 2006 Big Brother. She was lovingly held down by two boys who then proceeded to slap her in the face with their penises (penii?).
T'was mighty scandalous, with even the PM at the time getting involved, saying;
"Here's a great opportunity for Channel 10 to do a bit of self-regulation and get this stupid program off the air".
Ha. If Rudd the Stud was in office at the time he would have gone in and had a turkey slap party with them. But I digress.
Said engineer then proceeded to tell us he had recorded a song for Camilla, the pock faced slut with a heart of gold who had stolen his own wooden heart.
After recording our tune, we rushed into the mixing room and begged to hear this amazing song, and AMAZING IT WAS!
He had basically taken a sample from the show when Camilla was evicted. The sample was; "But I'm not wearing any underwear".
This was set to a technotronic beat and was repeated infinite times.
It was hypnotic.
He just stared off into space as it played over and over again..."not wearing any/not wearing any/ but I'm not wearing any underwear..."
SCARY STALKER MAN! Just the kind I like!
I told him he should send it to her, and guess what???? He already had!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sadly, she has not replied, fuckin snobby bitch.
He looked sad, but I can report that he didn't cry.
The End By Me
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Fashion Passion
Arrrr spring is in the air. I think I'll come back to this blog and blog like a blogging blogger with a major case of bloggeritis.
You know whats gonna be in this season (besides wearable wood, AND blogging)?
Wearing those giant flowers that only bloom once a century and smell like rotting flesh.
I know cause SJP told me, SJP told me, SJP told me soooooooo
You know whats gonna be in this season (besides wearable wood, AND blogging)?
Wearing those giant flowers that only bloom once a century and smell like rotting flesh.
I know cause SJP told me, SJP told me, SJP told me soooooooo
Meg White Sex Tape?
Rumour has it there's a sex vid doing the rounds featuring none other than MEG FROM THE WHITE STRIPES????
They recently cancelled a load of shows due to Megs anxiety issues.
Was she anxious about her "O" face?????
Go and see the fil'um HERE, and don't thank me...thank god you know me!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Pining For Delta
Having a boring Friday night at home when I hear the best news update in days..."...and Delta Goodrem denies claims she is as sexy as pine furniture..."
Bwah hahaha
I don't know, Delts, some of those tallboys are pretty saucy!
Tell me something.
Is this....
sexier than this......
Personally, I think...HELL YEAH!
Bwah hahaha
I don't know, Delts, some of those tallboys are pretty saucy!
Tell me something.
Is this....
sexier than this......
Personally, I think...HELL YEAH!