Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Prepare Ye For The Silly Season

Arrr yes, it is that time of year where we all go a little silly. We also become asinine, balmy, brainless, childish, crazy, dippy, dizzy, empty, empty-headed, fatuous, featherbrained, flighty, foolhardy, frivolous, harebrained, idiotic, ignorant, illogical, immature, imprudent, inane, inappropriate, inconsistent, irrational, irresponsible, ludicrous, meaningless, muddle-headed, nitwitted, nonsensical, pointless, preposterous, puerile, ridiculous, senseless, sheepheaded, simple, simpleminded, stupid, unintelligent, unreasonable, unwise, vacuous, witless .
This post was brought to you by Thesaurus.com
Worst Album Covers Of 2008?
Meh. Whatever.
They put two on the list that I passionately disagree with.
THIS:
And THIS:
That is some AWESOME cover art!
For a better collection of all time awesomeness, head here. Much beauty awaits you.

A Summer Essential
If the sun doesn't shine out of your arse, mayhaps you need one of these nifty devices. Sometimes the sun needs a little assssssistance. For those hard to reach areas.(WTF)
Getting Sexy in the KFC SINK!

I have a kentucky fried brain after too much beer and vodka, so nothing clever will be written here. Here is a story you may or may not like 'bout a bunch of trashy chicks who worked at KFC stripping down to their smalls and posing in the 'restaurants' industrial sink. You are welcome.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Men I Have Loved
As Christmas draws near, I hear the angel Colbert sing in unearthly tones, "You're so high". Could I love him more?
But when I am alone in the darkness of the night, the only love I seek is from Chris Dane Owens. Only his love can slay dragons.
My Amazing Grandma
Here is my nan battling NEO;
Here is my nan in her upcoming movie role;
And here is nan's new electro hit;
It's been a big week for her. I'll get her a nice box of Roses choccies for christmas.
Yahoo Answer Idiots

Sometimes when I am playing on the information SUPERHIGHWAY, I come across things that make me realise that perhaps I am not the dumbest kid on the block. This is one of those things.
Oh man, now I have been sucked in to Yahoo Answers. Christ is urging me to help the troubled lass who asked "Why do these two ugly Korean guys always stare at me?"
Dear God, what is the answer?!
Big Ass Jones!
Check out his amazing life story HERE and then go store some shit!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Portia De Rossi - Boobs From Afar
I zoomed in for a closer look and lo, hark, did my eyes deceive me?
Nay. For I would recognise Portia De Rossi's tits anywhere.
And who be that, legs akimber?
AHOY ELLEN!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Best Line In a Movie?
I went to the Annandale last night to enjoy Cult Sinema's presentation of They Live.
Ooooh it was fun.....
Chase it down if you haven't seen it. The above scene should be encouragement enough.
If not - this is the lead actor;
I Love Amy Winehouse
Punch and sing, girlfriend. Punch. And. Sing.
The guy that was on the receiving end of the slugger was thrilled. It seems 25 yr old James Gostelow, was standing in front of someone who pegged a hat at Amys beehive. ( THE CHEEK!)
"I saw a hat being thrown from behind me and it hit Amy's beehive," he said. "She looked down, saw me looking up, and her elbow went for me.
"She caught my forehead, then someone may have shouted something from the back, which is when she went in again.
"At the end of the day it is all part of being at the front and being pushed by thousands of people. It is all part of the Glastonbury experience. I'm just pleased I got to see her. She did a great act.
"Not everyone can say they have been hit by Amy Winehouse. I just want to shake the person who threw the hat."
Now that is the way to react to violence peeps.
Peace out.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Rosemary West And Slade Bassist Were Engaged?
Did you know that in the early Noughties Rosemary West was engaged to Slade bass player David Glover?I sure as hell didn't, and serial killers are part of my bag, baby!
It seems they were writing to each other for a year before the short-lived engagement broke off after negative media publicity.
Glover was kicked out of Slade, Rosemary was sad for a bit, and that's that.
Before he ended the relationship, the bass playing bandit said "We've been writing to each other for a very long time.
"There are family members that I'm going to need to inform about this. I need time to prepare what I'm going to say to them."
Rose also sent this awesome letter to her lawyer, Leo Goatley ;
"I've fallen in love with one of the members of Slade.
"He's 36, six feet two, a professional musician and divorced with two children. . . we fell in love!
"I have a wedding to plan . . . if they allow it!"
Mr Goatley said: "It is clear he had not thought through the ramifications of a marriage to Rose.
"As soon as the chickens came home to roost, he just kind of panicked.
"But it makes you wonder why he was writing to her every day for a year and promising marriage if he was going to be put off so quickly."
I concur.
Glover, who appears to be an idiot, upon learning of West's decision not to appeal her conviction said;
"I firmly believe that Rosemary West was wrongly convicted of murder and was sorry that she felt unable to proceed.
"Since then we have become good friends although reports that we spoke every day and exchanged hundreds of love letters are completely untrue.
"The effect on my life of the publicity surrounding these reports has been completely devastating.
"I have lost my livelihood, a job that I loved and was proud to have.
"Most importantly my family and friends have been caused untold distress."
Oh Mama Weer All Crazee Now!
The End
By Me
Gene Simmons Sex Tape?
The one redeeming feature is the Foreigner soundtrack
Oh and I like how she won't kiss him....
watch for yourself HERE
very lame Gene, very lame Austrian energy drink spokesmodel. You both get a D minus.

Double Blogging

Hello peeps, how are you?
Really?
A rash?
How exciting!
Just wanted to let you know that I am gonna be posting up here all my lame posts from the Myspace blog so if you came here from Myspace, all posts below catface will be fresh and exciting to you, all above will be old news.
That is all.
Over and Out.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Bitch Fight At Sonic Youth
I had the best position front side - no barrier (except for an occassional bouncer visit), and a wall of beer next to the amp....SWEET!
Then this bitch with anorexic fuzz all over her pushed up behind me, held her arm over my head and began flash photagraphing the band on her fuckin Blackberry.
A few snaps and I wouldn't have minded. Heck, being asked if I minded having her skinny bitch arm hanging over my head would have been nice too. But this cuntress just kept going - I swear she was planning on documenting the entire gig, bulbs flashing, over my perfect hairdo.
Na ugh. I said to the slut "can you stop that now? You have heaps of pics, just enjoy the band" and whore face said to me "fuck off"!
Oh no she din'it.
Then she did this little hip wiggle to make it look like she gave a shit about the music and I shoved her and told her to fuck off right back...it was ON!
She just kept calling me a bitch which was lame in comparison with my "cuntress" call, and she knew it. Then I told her to go back to the Hills (lame reality show about blonde bitches covered in anorexic fuzz wandering around being lame skanks) and she left. On my way out she came up and gave me a little shove and I shoved right back - bitch flew into a wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub
Don't fuck with the master!
UPDATE - sorry wrong link, but go there anyway!
as I was saying, flew into the wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Check out the Band Blog!
sorry for the lack of blog...I've been doing a little blogging over at my bands Myspace page if you need to be entertained...
Check out the BOSOM page here.
LUV YA SEXIES!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
And Leon's Getting Larger

Cher is ashamed of her fat lesbian daughter, or something like that. Once I saw this picture I got horny and couldn't keep reading.
Find out for yourselves!
All I want For Xmas
Yeah, as I was saying, all i want for Christmas is.....Larry Birkhead and Britney Spears to get together!And guess what?
It's not outside the realms of possibilty.
Larry, Anna Nicole Smiths baby-daddy has a crush on Brits!
"I think Britney is sexy," he has announced to the world, further cementing the worlds opinion of him as a fine judge of character when choosing a mate.
Some booner or other has said "Larry has a thing for vulnerable blondes - and no one seems more vulnerable than Britney these days," adding that Larry finds being a single dad challenging, and is looking to date a single woman with children.
HAHAHA! Please happen and please get MTV onto this straight away.
ps. Brits is getting her kids hair tested for pot residue....god I missed you all!
Whacko's Lips Explode!
OK, so Michael Jackson is not normal. Yes?He is a delicate and precious flower. Yes?
Life may be beautiful but it is also fraught with danger. Yes?
YES!
My arm has 3 massive burns on it at the moment resulting from my attempts to iron and cook. Martha I am not...and danger is EVERYWHERE.
My next door neighbour asked me if I had become a cutter, that's how much I stuffed up my little home economics adventure, but again I digress....
So Michael was playing with his 'son' the other day, and his son BURST HIS LIP!!!!!!!!!!
As in POPPED IT!
"He was whacked in the face accidentally by his younger son Prince Michael II while playing around and part of Jackson's upper lip collapsed.
"That mishap led an hysterical Jacko to make a beeline for the plastic surgeon for a bit of quickie repair work."
HAHA! Imagine living next door to this white woman!
The worst my neighbours get is, "hey, I'm locked out", or "did you just hear/smell that massive fart I just did?", or "hey check out my massive rack in this new outfit!"
Michael would be all like "sorry for disturbing you but I think there's a nose in my soup", or "that postman is so ignorant, he just called me Terri Hatcher. It's just ignorance" etc.
So bottom line is, Michael Jackson was playing with his 5 year old son and his lips disintegrated.
This has been my second favorite story today
x
The Turkey Slap Diaries
Have you heard our latest toon Turkey Slap?Go to our Myspace and give your ears an early Xmas treat!
It's all killer no filler, right? But what you haven't heard is the TRUE tale of our Turkey Slap recording (unless you're in Bosom, and if you are, hey dudes, see you at rehersal!)
So this romantic lovesong was recorded in a Sydney studio, lets call it Budhha Studios, recently.
When we told our engineer the song was called Turkey Slap, he ejaculated (words out of his mouth, not semen from his pants, numnuts); "I love Camilla!"
A bit of background for those of you not in the know... Camilla was a housemate on 2006 Big Brother. She was lovingly held down by two boys who then proceeded to slap her in the face with their penises (penii?).
T'was mighty scandalous, with even the PM at the time getting involved, saying;
"Here's a great opportunity for Channel 10 to do a bit of self-regulation and get this stupid program off the air".
Ha. If Rudd the Stud was in office at the time he would have gone in and had a turkey slap party with them. But I digress.
Said engineer then proceeded to tell us he had recorded a song for Camilla, the pock faced slut with a heart of gold who had stolen his own wooden heart.
After recording our tune, we rushed into the mixing room and begged to hear this amazing song, and AMAZING IT WAS!
He had basically taken a sample from the show when Camilla was evicted. The sample was; "But I'm not wearing any underwear".
This was set to a technotronic beat and was repeated infinite times.
It was hypnotic.
He just stared off into space as it played over and over again..."not wearing any/not wearing any/ but I'm not wearing any underwear..."
SCARY STALKER MAN! Just the kind I like!
I told him he should send it to her, and guess what???? He already had!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sadly, she has not replied, fuckin snobby bitch.
He looked sad, but I can report that he didn't cry.
The End By Me
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Fashion Passion
You know whats gonna be in this season (besides wearable wood, AND blogging)?
Wearing those giant flowers that only bloom once a century and smell like rotting flesh.
I know cause SJP told me, SJP told me, SJP told me soooooooo

Meg White Sex Tape?

Rumour has it there's a sex vid doing the rounds featuring none other than MEG FROM THE WHITE STRIPES????
They recently cancelled a load of shows due to Megs anxiety issues.
Was she anxious about her "O" face?????
Go and see the fil'um HERE, and don't thank me...thank god you know me!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Pining For Delta
Bwah hahaha
I don't know, Delts, some of those tallboys are pretty saucy!
Tell me something.
Is this....

sexier than this......
Personally, I think...HELL YEAH!Thursday, September 13, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Sexy Meat Goods

So yesterday I was thinking a nice term for a bit of oral on the lady would be "glazing the ham".
What do you think?
I like it.
THEN, I was on a train and heard some school kids chattering away about sling shots and white washing fences when one little princess piped up and said something about "DEVON BOOBS".
Man, I wish now that I had gone over and asked her what that term meant.
I mean I'm on Myspace and Facebook, why have I never heard this term before?
My theories are;
1) Devon Boobs: Naked breasts pushed up against a pane of glass.
eg: We were dining at KFC when we looked up and noticed Michelle had pressed her breasts onto the window pane. We sure love some DEVON BOOBS with our boneless chicken.

2) Devon Boobs: Pink breasts whose nipple is the same shade.
eg: While Layla was undressing after the wet t shirt competition I noticed there was no definition between the colour of her skin and the colour of her aureole. A slice of those DEVON BOOBS would go really well with this keg of beer.
Any other ideas?
Stay Away Beyatch

did not fuck this;

Sorry. I mean this;

did not fuck this;

Reports are flooding in, and I am not impressed. He better not catch anything that can be passed on to our, as yet unmade.... BABY!
Friday, July 06, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Cocks Of Rock

Woooweeee, here are some pics of rock cocks!
Mike Patton has now given me even more reason to love him.
I don't think G G should be on here though, I believe that is nothing more than a rather large clit.
Build Your Own Sex Doll
So why not make your own sex dolls out of old dildos and boobs you have lying around at home?!


Sarah Silverman Blasts Paris Hilton Live
OH Lord! Compare and contract Paris' reaction to Jacks reaction
Courtney Love Sux
Courtney Love is such a feminist! Who else has the guts to tell girls smoking will make 'em thin?She recently went to see her doctor about a sore throat and this is what she had to say about it;
"He guessed exactly how much I smoke too and told me I'll have to get surgery," Love wrote on her website.
"I need to stop unless ... I want surgery in a year, and two or three days off on tour is not economically feasible, so my thin phase is gonna go soon."
Oh, poor fatty boom bah's gonna come back. Seriously, I hate this woman soooo much. What a fuckin sell out.In related news, I am giving up smoking too. I'm going the opposite way, so my fat phase will be over soon...
Wheezing away on a treadmill sucks, so I have spent the last decade sitting on my fat arse watching Hueys Cooking Adventures and puffing away.
Soon I will be able to walk to the bathroom on my own and won't have to propell myself down the hallway on a skateboard pulled by my foxy chihuahua, Rizzo.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Me And Brit
Gawd, substitute toilet bowl for gutter and bodyguard for random stranger, then you pretty much have my evening last night, down to teeeeeee...."Britney was found slumped over the toilet bowl with make-up smeared over her face and her wig hanging off.
"She had a room booked at the hotel but was too ill to stay and was begging her bodyguard to take her home.
"She looked a real mess and was sitting on the floor with her head over the bowl throwing up.
"There was vomit down the front of her black dress and around her mouth.
"Britney was on her knees and must have been sick four or five times. She didn't really seem with it, but I don't know if she was drunk or not."
Except I'm pretty sure I was drunk!Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Edgey
I couldn't get to sleep last night. I tossed and turned until 4 am! 4 AM MIND YOU!!!!!And what did I think about during those long lonely hours?
Well to tell you the truth I spent at least 2 of them wondering how The Edge can get away with being called The Edge.
What kind of nickname is that anyway?
Is it because he's cutting edge?
I wonder if anyone has ever walked near him and sung "don't push me/cause I'm close to the edge".
This is what kept me awake last night.
The Edge....your name is dumb.
And then I woke up and it was all a dream.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Cucumber Flavoured Pepsi
Coming soon to Japan, Cucumber flavoured Pepsi.I don't care what you say about cultural differences, that shit would taste disgusting in any language.
Now pumpkin and paprika Pepsi, that I would try....now with added alliteration!
Pam - Mum Of The Year
Imagine having Pamela Anderson as your mum.Total radness.
Recently she was asked whether she had told her kids about her 'infamous' sex video.
Pammy replied;
"Actually I did tell them, I said, 'You know, when your dad and I were first together we used to video tape everything. Everybody's naked, hugging, kissing, all that good stuff and someone stole the tape.'"
Ok, that's good. She handled that well.
Pamela continues;
"And I remember when we were watching the film and Dylan goes, 'You mean everybody has seen this?' And I said, 'Yes.'"
WAIT A MINUTE!!! Did she just say "when we were watching the film"?????
Firstly, who watches their own home made porno with their kids?
And secondly, isn't Dylan like 9 years old?
Wow, I can't wait for that kids version of Mummy Dearest.
No wire hangers and lotsa lube!
Brisbane Times Rulz OK

Congratulations to the Brisbane Times, for what may well prove to be the Headline Of The Millennium.
In an article describing lead singer of Right Said Fred's ( as if you need to know his name) involvement in a gay rights march in Moscow, turned ugly, they chose to go with....
I'm Too Sexy For This Punch-Up.
Well played, Brisvegas. I am deeply dippy for you.





























