Busting Out

I'd Hit It

2010-05-04T17:35:00.002+10:00

Coco is AMAZING!

2010-04-25T19:36:00.003+10:00

“Getting a bikini wax. She’s about to pull the cloth strip off of my crotch. Yikes! A little pain is worth it.”

I just can't quit Coco. This girl is so wrong that it's awesome! Here she is about to get her vadge de-haired. She kindly posted this up on twitter where she describes herself as a "hard working business woman, TV personality, Swimsuit,Playboy & Fitness Model and wife of IceT..." YES!

Fuck Twitter though...they banned this pic! I can't see any pink bits! Damn this world. Damn it to hell.

Nude Chick In Disney Movie

2010-04-25T19:30:00.002+10:00

I am very, very lucky to know Ross Radiation for he is a font of incredible knowledge.

Today he showed me this gem from the Disney movoir The Rescuers. He reckons everyone knows about this, but I didn't know! I DID NOT KNOW!

Looks like Disney pissed off one animator too many.

Suck the pus dudes!!!!!!

DIE ANTWOORD

2010-02-02T09:52:00.004+11:00

I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "what I need in my life is the ‘next level rap-rave krew’. I have had it up to here with the regular level ones." Then lo and behold, I stumble across the amazing Die Antwoord, a self described ‘next level rap-rave krew"! Who knew?!

Hailing from South Africa, these kids are fucking cool. Cooler than you. Possibly cooler than me.

Ninja describes his ethnic background poetically; "in this place, South Africa, you get a lot of different things: whites, coloureds, English, Afrikaans, Xhosa, Zulu, watookal—I’m like all these different things, all these different people, fucked into one person."

Check em out! This is their website where you can just listen to their awesome shit.
HOT!

Coco's Makeup Tips

2010-02-02T09:40:00.003+11:00

"This is how I get ready.By sitting in the sink.No joke!Getting pretty for a movie premier. "

Where the hell did Ice find this amazing woman? This shit has got to stop! It is too, too awesome.

If I've told you once I've told you a trillion times, follow Coco on Twitter!

Babes and Stormtroopers

2010-02-01T16:33:00.002+11:00

This website makes me feel sick, but as a public service to the nerds I love to love, may I present Hot Chicks With Stormtroopers. Sorry.

Get Used To Boys

2010-02-01T11:18:00.002+11:00

Do you suffer from social anxiety? Does the thought of a boy looking at you make u go CRAZY INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE? What if he talks to you? Do you TOTALLY FLIP YOUR WIG?!

Girlfriend, what you need is some boy practice. Watch this video, several times if needs be, and get used to the hot ladyboys staring you out. There is nothing worse than peeing your pants the first time a guy talks to you. Do it first in the privacy of your own home.

Put on a depend or lay down the plastic sheet and get ready. These studs are going to guide you into the world of womanhood. This is especially...."for lady".

Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

2010-02-01T11:03:00.009+11:00

Tom Selleck was Quigley in Quigley Down Under, a movie described by one avid movie fan as "an overlooked gem".

It has been suggested by some that Quigley is the role that Selleck was born to play.

He was also Magnum PI and one of the dads in that horror classic Three Men And A Baby.

Sandwiches are a yummy, bread type concoction. They are very popular with people of all ages and were invented by the Earl Of Sandwich as a means of keeping greasy meat stains off his cards whilst he was playing cribbage.

Waterfalls are exotic and wet. Sometimes if you look very hard you can see unicorns hiding behind them.

Now, together at last... DRUMROLL... Tom Selleck, waterfalls and delicious sandwiches. What a world we live in! BE THE MAGIC!

Donatella Versace?

2010-01-27T15:59:00.008+11:00

The sunscreen is a nice touch. Timeless elegance on the beach.

Jonas Nip Slip

2010-01-18T09:42:00.002+11:00

Coco Exercises

2009-12-17T12:56:00.004+11:00

Our girl Coco has done it again.
Here she is doing squats in her stripper heels. Bless.

You really should follow her on Twitter, then you will receive gems like this:

"I'm naked in my kitchen making Grape Koolaide in the pitch dark.Ice is craving it.Gotta keep your man happy."

Ice is a very lucky man.

Makeup Artists Revenge

2009-12-17T12:40:00.007+11:00

Does anyone remember the movie Powder? You know the movie where "a young bald albino boy with unique powers shakes up the rural community he lives in"?
No?
Neither do I.

I wonder if Nicole Kidman has seen it. I bet her bitch of a makeup artist has!

Oh Nic, you silly, silly bitch. That is why we use straws and/or rolled up thousand dollar bills. It is very rude just to shove your whole face in there! I bet Antonia would never do that!

Well, ya gots to keep laffing Mrs Urban. HAHA, i just realised that is her name! That is funny. I wonder if she has a cousin called Mrs Rural....mmm....that was shit. Let's just look at how dumb Nicole looks:

Nicole Kidman, you are a stupid bitch.
THE END

This Kid Must Be OLD!

2009-12-16T15:58:00.002+11:00

Ringing Of The Bells

2009-12-15T14:03:00.002+11:00

Christmas is the time to rejoice, for we all get presents and that is awesome.

Sometimes we even get to keep the presents we give to other people. Like, you know, your grandpa isn't really into knee high pink leopard print socks, or your Aunty Gertrude doesn't have anywhere in her new retirement village to put the giant cardboard cutout of Johnny Depp you got her. That is also awesome.

Now you have new socks and Johnny Depp!

You also get to eat shitloads of food that you didn't have to pay for, and you can get absolutely maggoted at your parents home and they will think you are just full of seasonal cheer (if they are senile enough).

Then you steal their christmas ham and heaps of beer (always take a very large backback) and you are on your way home. What a great day! Thanx for the lift Nan! Sorry I spewed in your stupid, ugly car. Can I have it when you die?

REJOICE!

Gone To The Dogs

2009-11-23T11:17:00.002+11:00

Ross wants to get this for Rizzo this chrsitmas. She will be the most awesome dog at the park!

Suri Girl Interrupted Pt 2

2009-11-20T13:49:00.005+11:00

I've wasted a year of my life. Maybe everyone out there is a liar. And maybe the whole world is "stupid" and "ignorant" but I'd rather be in it. I'd rather be fucking in it than down here with you.

How the hell am I supposed to recover when I don't even understand my disease?

No one cares if you die, Lisa, because you're dead already. Your heart is cold. That's why you keep coming back here. You're not free. You need this place to feel alive. It's pathetic.

You know, taking us for ice creams in a blizzard... makes you wonder who the real whack jobs are.

Lego Album Covers

2009-11-19T12:53:00.005+11:00

Awesome! Go and find more lego album covers HERE.

Hide Your Stash From The Kids

2009-11-18T15:48:00.002+11:00

Michael Jackson may be dead, but he is still touching little children.

Coco Hits The Beach

2009-11-18T11:53:00.006+11:00

Oh Coco, another Busting Out patron Saint, you've done it again. How I love you!

Mantrap!

2009-11-17T15:24:00.004+11:00

Jayne Mansfield, my favourite celebrity of all time, once said, "if you want a better man, build a better man-trap", or something close to that anyways. I am quoting off the top of my head, so sue me Mariska Hargitay! I double, triple dare you! Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you. Maybe I could rape a tradie on the way to court and you could make an episode of Law and Order SVU about it. How do you like THEM apples?!

........................ how do you like this mantrap?..............................................

Um, yeah....so....mantraps.

Oh, that's right, that is also what my mum calls tits. Actually it could be "manbait"? Hmmmm, whatever, she is senile and has small boobs.

Did you also know that a rug can be a mantrap?! A furry mantrap!? No shit, check out this public service anouncement. I wish I had learnt about this in my formative years.

Smile Like You Mean It

2009-11-17T14:56:00.002+11:00

Do you know me in real life? If you do, you will know that I have seriously squinty eyes when I laugh. It is both mutant and adorable. Some of my siblings share the same trait.

When we were kids we used to try and smile as big as we could without showing our teeth and trying to keep our eyes as wide as possible. It looks demented. I will take a photo of this for you and post it here later.

I bet SOME of you are trying to do it now. You look stupid. Do not do it in front of that hot tradie who is fixing your dunny. I assure you he will not bone you after seeing that!

This guy is doing something creepier. He is laughing without smiling. This is what I was like before I discovered antidepressants. HOLLOW!

MTV Is Keeping It Real(ity)

2009-11-17T14:47:00.003+11:00

Last night I was uselessy outraged by MTV changing from Channel 808, up where all the music channels are, to some lower channel near where all the reality shows are.

You should have heard me ranting and raving! "MTV stands for Music Television!" "Michael Jackson didn't die for this!" "Where will I get my Rock and/or Roll from?"

Then I remembered that MTV has hardly showed music videos for as long as I've had foxtel.
So I made myself a sparkling glass of Passion Pop and settled in for a marvelous episode of Rock Of Love Bus. Best. Show. On. TV. Thank you MTV!

Dogs Share My Bad Taste

2009-11-17T14:26:00.002+11:00

Are you aware that dogs all over the world are singing along to Gwen Stefani's Sweet Escape?!
I used to live with a dog called Chiko who sang along to some weird little harp thing.

My foxy-chihuhua doesn't do anything cool like this. Once she barked at some dude acting like a dog on Jerry Springer. She is her mothers child.

There's lots more here.

What Is A Blobbit?

2009-11-17T10:16:00.001+11:00

When they are that big they are hard to hide!

Oh My....

2009-11-04T12:32:00.002+11:00

Coco as a Mermaid

2009-11-04T11:34:00.003+11:00

One of Busting Out's patron saints, Coco got it happening for halloween, baby! AWESOME STUFF!

(via)

An Amy Winehouse Nip

2009-10-28T17:33:00.003+11:00

AMY WINEHOUSE HAS NEW BOOBS!!!!!!

No more to add. Oh except this is what her dad said about HIS DAUGHTERS TITS:

"(She's) fantastic. Her boobs are great as well! She looks absolutely fantastic.

"I didn't have to pay for it (boob job), that's all I know. I didn't have to pay for the boobs.

"There is no total recovery, it''s a recovery and if you look back to where we were a year ago, we are on a different planet.

We are in a different space and a different time and (Amy is) a different person."

Yes, we are now on planet boob. Thanks dad!

Semi-Awesome YouTube Comments

2009-10-26T17:11:00.002+11:00

Go to Awesome YouTube Comments for a few chuckles. Or don't. I can't live your life for you, but if you follow my instructions YOU could live MINE!

“ I laughed, I cried, I pissed in my pants. An instant classic! ”

“ i don’t think you would be driving…. while taking a shit… ”

“ its from batman returns, the most sensitive of all the batmans ”

Police Sketches Can be Fun

2009-10-26T16:49:00.003+11:00

I would be the worst witness to a crime ever. I once spent 25 minutes chasing a dog, thinking it was mine, only to find it had a big penis attached to it. Well nobody told me Rizzo weren't packing heat, day'um.

Does that story even relate to this story? Whatever.

I could never understand how police sketches work. I could probably tell you what they smelled like, for I can name every flavour of lynx, rexona and impulse ever released, but what their nose looked like? Bitch, please, I'm a busy woman searching for pennies in the gutter. How else am I gonna get home from the free soup kitchen?

Which doesn't really bring me here, but let's just say it did...

I very much enjoyed this collection of bizarre police sketches. Check it out.... fool!

Reverse Photobombs

2009-10-26T15:47:00.001+11:00

Here is a somewhat stupid collection of Reverse PhotoBombs.

I chose to go with the picture above, because that is probably my arse up there.

The whole world has seen my butt. It hangs out with wild abandon.

My Perfect Date

2009-10-26T14:43:00.001+11:00

Has this woman been reading my diary?!

It's like she is looking into my very soul....

Noah Cyrus Phone Home

2009-10-26T13:41:00.005+11:00

This is nine year old Noah Cyrus, Miley's little sister, off to enjoy an evening in the Playboy grotto.

Now first up, isn't Noah a boys name? As in Noah's Ark? As in that hot dredded tennis player Noah Whatever The F is surname was? Um Noah...well the dude that built the ark?!

OK, I may be wrong, and let's face it, it wouldn't be the first time.
Besides, there are bigger things to worry about here, like for example, has Billy Ray taken up dentistry?

Are you dawgs fer real?!
Red lipstick?!
Get this child in a snuggy and take her to an oral surgeon stat.

Please see my Halloween Hell post below for a cautionary tale regarding dressing as a slut too early. Surely there is something in between pumpkins and whores? For the love of all that is sacred, whatever happened to ghosts?!

Actually, whatever happened to ET?!

Flying Undies

2009-10-26T13:20:00.003+11:00

Underpants are cool. Flying underpants are cooler.

Wow, look at them go!

Imagine looking out of your Virgin Blue window and copping that! That would be worth the price of the ticket alone!

Some dude was so inspired by this he constructed his own pair of parachuting panties. This world is truly filled with awesome.

He's 45! GROSS!

2009-10-26T13:11:00.004+11:00

The grossest thing in the world is someone who is old and trying to act cool and with it.

You know the type; wearing disgusting rats-tails, grinding their pleather pants on teenagers in bars, shopping at supre.

These types remind me of the Donnas song Dirty Denim;

"You look like you've only slept for an hour
You smell like you haven't taken a shower
And your hair is so dirty
It makes you look like you're 30!"

Haha that always cracks me up. Thirty is GROSS!

Don't get me wrong, I love people aging disgracefully, but please, put down the Paul Robinson denim jacket and skinny tie. No one is enjoying it.

Halloween Hell

2009-10-25T14:42:00.002+11:00

When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to watch Young Talent Time because everyone on it was a slut. That didn't stop me from naming my Cabbage Patch Kid Bevan, after my one true love who was eerily name Bevan too! *SWOON* What a HUNK!

So because my folks were such straights Halloween wasn't really *done* in our house. I did, however, go to one Halloween party and in a troubling precognition of what my adult body would turn out like, I was dressed like this kid:

As the years went on, I found I was typecast. I would always be the round, jolly orange girl in the corner. High school was hell.Then I met a man with a similar upbringing. He also wasn't allowed to watch YTT. He wasn't even allowed to watch the Brady Bunch because, you guessed it, everyone on it was a slut.

The pumpkin dude is ok, but we find "congress" to be difficult due to our round shapes. We have consulted obesity websites, but all those tips require a large member. So here I am, rotund, orange and uselessly married to this dude:

Thanks to my parents early imput, the trajectory of my life has been globular and lame. In my twilight years I will look like this:

I often wonder how my life might have turned out if my parents had dress me like this when I was three:

As the years passed I would have got just that little bit more sexier. Darryn O'Malley probably would have asked me to the year 3 Halloween Disco if he had known this was gonna pop out:

Year six would have been all hot babes and fast cars. Damn my parents and their conservitive, pumpkin loving values.

I probably would never have dropped out of uni and settled into a life of orange mediocrity. I could have flown out of the bible belt on my vibrating broom. I'd probably land in Hughs grotto, and you would be tuning in to watch me on channel E right now!

I would have married well, probably to a man of the cloth and a woman of the wicca persuasion. Damn things could have been good.

So at this time of year, I reflect on what could have been. As I step into another form fitting pumpkin suit, I look at my pumpkin dude and think to myself "If only I had been allowed to be a slut all those years ago".

Parents, take heed! Every pumpkin shaped costume is doing your kid damage. Get that beyatch into a corset and suspenders stat. There really is nothing worse than being a wall pumpkin.

Twilight Nipple Scene

2009-10-25T14:07:00.002+11:00

I have never seen Twilight, but I am hoping that by posting that title, tweens will flock to Busting Out and check out Amy Winhouses' pubes.

As for this R Patz character, I am not sure. I guess he's OK. He's not all that though. I mean, he looks a little bit special and smelly.

Well anyway, here is a deleted scene from Twilight featuring an amazing nipple shot. You are welcome.

Ps. Can someone let me know where that Amy Winehouse apostrophe belongs. Despite dabbling in a communication degree I have no idea how to spell and/or write proper.

Beat On The Brat

2009-10-25T13:54:00.002+11:00

Beat On the Brat is an awesome song. Here. Let's listen to it:

So romantic, don't you think?!

So that song is the raddness, but what is not bodacious is beating up kids in real life. What's even worse is beating up a kid 'cause he is pouring sand into another kids butt crack. Sometimes it is just one of those days.

Hitting these kids only leads to this kind of behaviour:

Oh my flying spaghetti monster! That must have been some beating!

I once was babysitting a kid who tore all his clothes off and stuck a hose up his bum. The hose was ON!
But did I hit him? No! Once the hose had been gently removed I ran into the bathroom and laffed my arse off. And now I am writing about it on the internet!

Anyways, the only way to deal with this kind of thing is to remix it into an hilarious song. Enjoy.

Hmmmm

2009-10-23T12:56:00.001+11:00

Sparrow Is Not A Name

2009-10-23T12:52:00.005+11:00

Nicole Richie has named her newborn son Sparrow. What a dickhead.

If they were naming him after this hot slut....

...they have failed. His first name was Captain. I guess the father is in a band called Good Charlotte. They are obviously all idiots.

Black and WTF

2009-10-22T13:52:00.004+11:00

Black and WTF.
Pretty good.

Hillary Duffs Nips

2009-10-22T13:25:00.003+11:00

I always thought the Hillster, or perhaps the Duffster, was a cutie pie. I especially liked it when she got those massive horse chomper veneers. It's all the rage! Don't change the record and do not turn the page, no matter WHAT Betty Boo tells you to do.

Anyway, here she is, highbeaming on some movie set for some upcoming load of crap about some girl looking for love instead of looking for cock. Lame.

How Much For That Jesus In The Dunny?

2009-10-22T13:11:00.004+11:00

Man, my parents HATE Ikea. I've only been with them once, and they could not handle the regimented walkway at all! HAHAHA I laughed at them and said "you guys are sooooo old. Ikea is for hip young things. Here, have a doobie".

Dad cracked the shits, faked a diabetic hypo and left the store, completely disregarding the Ikea path in his hasty retreat. Luckily for all of us, the Ikea security chased his arse down and order was restored.

Once we recovered dad from the Ikea interrogation room, I got my stuff and told my dad he would have to build it.

I haven't seen a face that purple since Violet Beauregarde got all fat and shit in Willy Wonka. Man it was funny!

Anyway, maybe if we had been in Glasgow instead of Homebush, papa would have chilled out after seeing the face of his Lord in the turin dunny.

You should really read this article. The dude quoted has usurped Captain Faggo as my God.

There is also an awesome bitch fight going on over whether it is Jesus, Gandolf or one of the dudes from ABBA.

Oh, and parents, if you are reading this, you are not alone. "It's certainly not what you expect to find in an Ikea store. Mind you, you need a little divine intervention to get out of here sometimes."

And this is the word of the Lord
Amen.

I LOVE THE INTERNET!

2009-10-22T11:22:00.002+11:00

Welcome to the internet. I invented it just over four years ago. Do you like it? I sure hope you do! It took a lot of work to get it up and running!

You can use the internet to find out all sorts of things. What is the name of that bird I just saw pooing on my car? How many animals really did die in the making of Milo and Otis? Why does Billy Bob Thonrton only eat orange food?

All this and more can be discovered on my magical invention, the internet. Here is a video to explain more:

The Real Kurt and Courtney

2009-10-21T09:50:00.001+11:00

Wow. Just...WOW.

Hollywood Glamour

2009-10-21T08:53:00.005+11:00

Time for a Busting Out style report, and today we have three unique and challenging looks.

First up we have the amazing Ms. Versace:

GOOD! Gorgeous! Stunning work here Donatella! Don't let anybody stop you baby. Versace is all about risks, and honey, this outfit looks like both a fashion and a medical risk.

Do not be giving Donatella any grief. This poor bitch has been through enough. She lost her septum in a tragic caving accident, her brother was murdered, her daughter is anorexic, and she looks like Lady GaGa's mangina. ENOUGH I SAY! SHe is fab and you wish you were her.

Let us move on.

OK, what the fuck is going on here Lindsay?

That dusty pink thing looks like my nannas toilet seat cover, and now that I think about it, the dress underneath looks like my nannas bedroom quilt.

Looking even closer, that face, that glazed expression...OH MY FUCKING GOD, NANNA?! Get back to the Glamour Retirement Village stat! You don't want to miss the creamed corn and trifle bingo night do you?!

Fernando is calling the numbers tonight, sweetheart.

Let us clean our minds with this next hot look:

Captain Faggo is my GOD! That pantless dude behind Captain Faggo is all "hell yeah, go Captain Faggo! Work it beyatch!".

When Captain Faggo is not hanging around in parks drinking goon and playing shuttlecock, he can be found soaring through the skies sprinkling Captain Faggo glitter wherever he goes.

Heed my words, Captain Faggo is going to save us from global warming. Remember this face. He is your saviour.

9th Century Form Letter 4 Drunks

2009-10-20T09:27:00.003+11:00

This letter is being photocopied and laminated for my daily use.

TRANSLATION
Yesterday, having drunk too much, I was intoxicated as to pass all bounds; but none of the rude and coarse language I used was uttered in a conscious state. The next morning, after hearing others speak on the subject, I realised what had happened, whereupon I was overwhelmed with confusion and ready to sink into the earth with shame.

Yes, we have all been there. A timeless problem really.

You should really check this site out, Letters Of Note. It's one of the best things going baby!

Playboys Slippery Slope

2009-10-19T14:43:00.005+11:00

ARRRRR MY EYES MY EYES!

I was just thinking that I could do a follow up on the Marge Playboy spread by showing explicit fan art, but oh dear holy crazies in heaven, the internet took me places I wish I had never been!

OUTRAGEOUS!

People can be very, very wrong. URGH!

Ok. Well I just had to share with you my horror. If you google "Simpsons" and "Porn" you will find what I mean. I couldn't give a shit if it was Marge and Homer, but getting the kids involved.....WOAH! GROSS ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!

Am I gonna go to jail?
Please no! I didn't want to be there!

Here, lets look at some flowers!

Oh god, even they look disgusting now!

Balloon Boy Upsets Hitler

2009-10-19T14:30:00.000+11:00

I don't think I will ever tire of this meme!

Imagine Babyz!

2009-10-19T14:24:00.002+11:00

(image link)

WOW! I have dared to imagine all of these things! Now where is "Imagine Dole Bludger"?

Classic Eames Polaroid Vid

2009-10-19T14:10:00.003+11:00

I have a Spice Girls polaroid camera. It is USELESS now that you can't buy the film and that is possibly the shittiest thing to have happened E.V.E.R. IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.

PS This video was created by Charles and Ray Eames. My parents own an Eames chair and it is gonna be mine after I send them and my siblings off in an experimental balloon. MINE I TELLS YOU!

pps. Broke brain = bad writing. sorry.

Marge In Playboy

2009-10-19T12:00:00.003+11:00

And so this proves once and for all, Marge has fake tits. See the rest HERE.

Suri - Girl Interrupted

2009-10-12T14:51:00.009+11:00

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train was moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.

Jamie was sad last week after Lisa ran away, so she hung herself with a volleyball net.

Help me understand, Dais 'cause, I thought you didn't do Valium. Tell me how this safety net is working for you. Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin and pray for the courage to press down. Tell me how your *daddy* helps you cope with that. Illuminate me.

You think you're free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free. I can breathe. And you... will choke on your average fuckin' mediocre life!

Alright, listen. Tongue your meds tonight. After 1 o'clock checks Gretta always goes out for a smoke. Check the mirrors and if they're clear you go down to Hector's closet. It's near the art room and it will be open.

I am going to be the Cinderella at Walt Disney's new theme park, Susanna's gonna be Snow White. You can come if you want. You can be the Cocker Spaniel that eats spaghetti.

They didn't release you 'cause you're better, Daisy, they just gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knick-knacks... and eatin' his fuckin' chicken, fattening up like a prize fuckin' heifer?
You changed the scenery, but not the fucking situation - and the warden makes house calls. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he fucks you. What they don't know... is that you like it. Hmm? You like it.

Where The Wild Things Are

2009-10-12T13:42:00.004+11:00

Maurice Sendak was asked by Dave Eggers "What do you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary? "Read the rest of this fantastic interview with Maurice Sendak HERE. That is all.

Breakfast For Arnie

2009-10-12T13:18:00.002+11:00

Detective John Kimble: Are these all your lunches?
[Boy shakes his head]
Detective John Kimble: You mean you eat other people's lunches?
[Boy nods]
Detective John Kimble: STOP IT!

WHAT A BABY!
(link)

Bruce Willis Peen

2009-10-12T13:03:00.002+11:00

I am providing this as a community service. I in no way find Bruce Willis hot. NEVER, ever, ever have.
Anyway, here is the Willis willy if you would like to take a gander.

I will not insult your intelligence by reminding you that this link is not safe for work. What does that mean, anyway? Some people work in sex shops for your information, people who invent internet acronyms....

The Batman Kid

2009-10-12T12:47:00.001+11:00

I'm loving these kids sick! FULLY SICK!

And the "special thanks to Dad" at the end? Shiyat. My Dad didn't even help me make my monkey magic stick when I was a kid. Arseholis Eruptus.

BOSOM Gig!

2009-10-12T12:26:00.001+11:00

Don't forget that my band BOSOM is playing October 17th at the Roxbury! Come along and have a beer spilled on ya weave!

Regretsy Roolz OK!

2009-10-12T10:39:00.004+11:00

I've been checking out the amazing website Regretsy since its inception, and it must be said, this shit just keeps getting better and better!

I don't have a cat, but I would hang that on the front porch in the off chance that MC Skat Kat passes my way anytime before autumn hits.

I was very upset to see that THIS piece was gone. I am not lying. I covet it!

Go get yourself some bargains for xmas. Secret Santa may never be the same again.

School Of Pain

2009-10-09T13:37:00.001+11:00

A while ago when my Dad was in hospital, he was fortunate enough to time his illness around the Billy Bass craze. I say fortunate because he received one as a gift from each of his children.

Did I mention that there are six of us?

That was very distressing for all involved.

Oh look, here are some distressed fish....

Say WHAT?!

2009-10-09T12:56:00.002+11:00

I just heard Michael Jackson died!

WTF?!

(picture link)

Call MC. Call MC Now

2009-10-09T12:01:00.003+11:00

Once when I was in highschool I made a very dramatic entrance into the locker room doing MC Hammers crab dance.

My how we laughed. We laughed and laughed for hours and hours on end!

P.E was cancelled that day because everyone was laughing so much, half the class had broken ribs! This is a true story.

If only I had know MC Hammer was waiting on calls! I would have gone down to the school office phone and told him all about it.

Cry Baby Cry

2009-10-09T11:48:00.003+11:00

Are you having a rough day. Let it all out with someone who cares for only $2 a minute.....

Jesus Hits Me

2009-10-09T11:43:00.002+11:00

It is not a hangover, I am being spanked by the Lord!

LURVE!

2009-10-08T18:16:00.001+11:00

I am The Anti-linker!

2009-10-08T16:56:00.005+11:00

When I stumbled upon this picture I thought to myself "that is one sweet picture, imma gonna put that on my blog". Then I was gonna link to the blog where I found it, for that is the law on the internet.

That was until I saw how this particular person had tagged the picture. Can I have an AMEN for "KIDS" and "SEXY".

This is on the first page of google images when you search "kids".....

And THIS is on the first page of google images when you search "sexy"....

HAHA Actually, they are quite similar. Well that has put a dampener on my moral outrage. I'm still not gonna link to you though, because you use Comic Sans, and that is also against the law on the internet.

Note: I have no idea why comic sans sux, but I always see geeks making jokes about it and I just want to fit in.

Suck Miley Off n Pop Her Cherry!

2009-10-08T15:12:00.006+11:00

2009-10-08T14:58:00.005+11:00

Funny Exams. Stupid name. Descriptive name. Some exams with funny answers. Funny. Exams.

Parents and Nikki Webster and Stuff

2009-10-08T14:17:00.012+11:00

This tumbler page is called I Hate My Parents, but for the life of me, I can't figure out why these kids would hate their's:

And this kid here has a TIGER!

You know whose parents I hate? I hate Websters parents. Not his original ones who died, but his adopted ones, the Papadapolisissssses. They always made fun of kids who couldn't say their names right, and that's a pretty hard name for a non Greek kid to say. Kid's are dumb and are still learning to talk! Geez louise, cut the idiots some slack!

Also Papa George had total PaedoFace. (Is the "a" and the "e" the wrong way round? I don't feel comfortable looking that one up right now!)

The mum (sorry MOM), was ok I guess. She was pretty hot.

"oooh we are so excited to have Webster in our lives. Get the balloons and fly him outta here!"

Did you know they were married in real life too? That grosses me out. Imagine if Karl and Susan were really married. Urgh. Thank god for everyone Susan is a lesbian. Actually Karl's pretty cute. I'd probably do him.

"I'd do you too Wiz"

Um, yeah, so anyway, Websters parents. What I want to know is what kind of moron would give such a tiny kid so many helium balloons? (And NO google image search, I did NOT mean Nikki Webster!)

(But you know I did get curious and looked for pictures of Nikki Webster holding balloons. I found none, but I did find some stupid mother [a parent I now also hate] who had posted a picture of her kids watching the olympics.

She wrote, "Note I thought the opening ceremony was great except for the Asian 'Nikki Webster', that wasnt very original."

You fucking bitch. Nikki Webster FLEW. Can YOU fly??? Didn't think so loser,, so sit the fuck down.

And as for that other little girl you refer to, her life became an Ashlee Simpsonesque lip synching hell! Join Websters parents at the back of the room!)

OK, where was I? Oh Websters parents. Yeah, they sucked. That mum couldn't cook for shit.

This kid is having a few problems with his parents as well. Man, parents are crap!

Tweets Of Yore

2009-10-08T14:08:00.004+11:00

Historical Tweets

Mosman Ghetto

2009-10-08T14:02:00.005+11:00

Private school wankers! Oh wait, is that me peeing in the bubbler?!?!

Community Service For The Fat and Dead

2009-10-08T13:31:00.005+11:00

Are you dead?
Are you fat?
Is it difficult to find a piano case in your locality?
If so Goliath Caskets could be just the company you are looking for.

Providing compassionate service and MASSIVE coffins for dead, fat people, this buisness has been "serving the needs of the Oversized Casket Community for 25 years!".

This team of experts can provide care as well as practical advice for the Fat Deads (I'm gonna trademark that!) and their loved ones during their difficult time.

Important tips include
"Let the funeral director know that your loved one is one of the bigger people."
and
"You may need to be prepared to buy two grave plots. Talk to your funeral director; ask him or her to check the family grave site opening." (Shias La Bouf, how big are these people?!)

Don't let the Fat Deads in your life suffer the indignity of being buried in an elevator. Do the right thing. Call these people today.

Note: I am in no way affiliated with this company Note Pt2: I am from a long line of fatties. It's glandular.

And so, once again we thank God for being all powerful and all mighty "...and until we meet again may God hold you in the palm of His hand".

Saving Facebook From Me

2009-10-08T13:07:00.008+11:00

Well, well, well... The people have spoken and I have listened. There are too many facebook distractions, there are too many people getting fired from work because of my Facebook postings, there are too many people falling in love with me and consequently, there are too many broken hearts in the world.

So it goes, Busting Out has returned! Sound the trumpets! Unfurl the banners! All the crap linkage you can handle in one easy to manage blog. Are you excited? I am. I will never clog up your Facebook feed again.

WOOT!

Man Babies

2008-12-12T15:52:00.003+11:00

An oldie but a goldie. Yes, it's ManBabies.

Best Viral Videos Of 2008

2008-12-12T12:52:00.001+11:00

Oh yes, it made me laugh!

Bastards!

2008-12-11T17:40:00.001+11:00

I tell you tears work EVERY time!

KISS!

2008-12-11T15:58:00.003+11:00

This is what I want for Christmas.

Thank you in advance.
(Ron English)

Prepare Ye For The Silly Season

2008-12-11T15:48:00.003+11:00

Arrr yes, it is that time of year where we all go a little silly. We also become asinine, balmy, brainless, childish, crazy, dippy, dizzy, empty, empty-headed, fatuous, featherbrained, flighty, foolhardy, frivolous, harebrained, idiotic, ignorant, illogical, immature, imprudent, inane, inappropriate, inconsistent, irrational, irresponsible, ludicrous, meaningless, muddle-headed, nitwitted, nonsensical, pointless, preposterous, puerile, ridiculous, senseless, sheepheaded, simple, simpleminded, stupid, unintelligent, unreasonable, unwise, vacuous, witless .

This post was brought to you by Thesaurus.com

Worst Album Covers Of 2008?

2008-12-11T15:13:00.005+11:00

Pitchfork have compiled their annual Worst Album Covers of the Year list for you to enjoy.
Meh. Whatever.

They put two on the list that I passionately disagree with.

THIS:

And THIS:

That is some AWESOME cover art!

For a better collection of all time awesomeness, head here. Much beauty awaits you.

A Summer Essential

2008-12-11T14:14:00.003+11:00

If the sun doesn't shine out of your arse, mayhaps you need one of these nifty devices. Sometimes the sun needs a little assssssistance. For those hard to reach areas.

(WTF)

Getting Sexy in the KFC SINK!

2008-12-11T13:56:00.002+11:00

I have a kentucky fried brain after too much beer and vodka, so nothing clever will be written here. Here is a story you may or may not like 'bout a bunch of trashy chicks who worked at KFC stripping down to their smalls and posing in the 'restaurants' industrial sink. You are welcome.

I am WINNER!

2008-12-11T13:47:00.001+11:00

Miss Piggy - Fuck The Pain Away

2008-12-10T14:34:00.001+11:00

Lots of video posts today! Well this one should be seen!

Men I Have Loved

2008-12-10T12:43:00.003+11:00

Love is an elusive thing, yet I see and feel it everwhere.

As Christmas draws near, I hear the angel Colbert sing in unearthly tones, "You're so high". Could I love him more?

But when I am alone in the darkness of the night, the only love I seek is from Chris Dane Owens. Only his love can slay dragons.

Poor Mutts

2008-12-10T12:41:00.001+11:00

Why are people so unkind?
WOn't someone think of the PUPPIES!!!!???

Epic Lolz

2008-12-10T12:06:00.000+11:00

This should be LOOOOOOOONGER!!!!

My Amazing Grandma

2008-12-10T11:48:00.002+11:00

Here is my nan;

Here is my nan battling NEO;

Here is my nan in her upcoming movie role;

And here is nan's new electro hit;

It's been a big week for her. I'll get her a nice box of Roses choccies for christmas.

Yahoo Answer Idiots

2008-12-10T11:33:00.002+11:00

Sometimes when I am playing on the information SUPERHIGHWAY, I come across things that make me realise that perhaps I am not the dumbest kid on the block. This is one of those things.

Oh man, now I have been sucked in to Yahoo Answers. Christ is urging me to help the troubled lass who asked "Why do these two ugly Korean guys always stare at me?"
Dear God, what is the answer?!

Big Ass Jones!

2008-12-10T11:24:00.002+11:00

Oh Jones, how I love you. Let me count the ways.
Check out his amazing life story HERE and then go store some shit!

Playgirl Does Wii Hula

2008-07-11T11:37:00.000+10:00

Such beauty and grace.

Portia De Rossi - Boobs From Afar

2008-07-10T18:03:00.007+10:00

I was surveying my property the other day when I glanced out across my private beach and espyed two famous lesbians pashing upon my waters.

I zoomed in for a closer look and lo, hark, did my eyes deceive me?
Nay. For I would recognise Portia De Rossi's tits anywhere.

And who be that, legs akimber?

AHOY ELLEN!

Amy Winehouse's PUBES

2008-07-10T17:54:00.004+10:00

That is all.

I'm So Sorry

2008-07-02T11:27:00.001+10:00

You may have to wash your eyes with bleach. Sorry! Nice to be back!!!!!!!!!

Charlton Heston Had A Small Cock

2008-07-02T10:40:00.004+10:00

AIM: To prove that Charlton Heston had a small cock.

EQUIPMENT: My brain. The Internerd.

METHOD: I tinkered around the internerd with my brain until I found this photo of the deceased Charlton Hestons' basement.

CONCLUSION: Charlton Heston had a small cock.

Best Line In a Movie?

2008-07-01T11:00:00.002+10:00

I went to the Annandale last night to enjoy Cult Sinema's presentation of They Live.
Ooooh it was fun.....

Chase it down if you haven't seen it. The above scene should be encouragement enough.

If not - this is the lead actor;

I Love Amy Winehouse

2008-07-01T10:23:00.002+10:00

Punch and sing, girlfriend. Punch. And. Sing.

The guy that was on the receiving end of the slugger was thrilled. It seems 25 yr old James Gostelow, was standing in front of someone who pegged a hat at Amys beehive. ( THE CHEEK!)

"I saw a hat being thrown from behind me and it hit Amy's beehive," he said. "She looked down, saw me looking up, and her elbow went for me.

"She caught my forehead, then someone may have shouted something from the back, which is when she went in again.

"At the end of the day it is all part of being at the front and being pushed by thousands of people. It is all part of the Glastonbury experience. I'm just pleased I got to see her. She did a great act.

"Not everyone can say they have been hit by Amy Winehouse. I just want to shake the person who threw the hat."

Now that is the way to react to violence peeps.
Peace out.

Tween Inspires Bond

2008-07-01T10:16:00.002+10:00

I'm just saying is all.....

Rosemary West And Slade Bassist Were Engaged?

2008-02-21T12:30:00.001+11:00

Did you know that in the early Noughties Rosemary West was engaged to Slade bass player David Glover?

I sure as hell didn't, and serial killers are part of my bag, baby!

It seems they were writing to each other for a year before the short-lived engagement broke off after negative media publicity.

Glover was kicked out of Slade, Rosemary was sad for a bit, and that's that.

Before he ended the relationship, the bass playing bandit said "We've been writing to each other for a very long time.

"There are family members that I'm going to need to inform about this. I need time to prepare what I'm going to say to them."

Rose also sent this awesome letter to her lawyer, Leo Goatley ;

"I've fallen in love with one of the members of Slade.

"He's 36, six feet two, a professional musician and divorced with two children. . . we fell in love!

"I have a wedding to plan . . . if they allow it!"

Mr Goatley said: "It is clear he had not thought through the ramifications of a marriage to Rose.

"As soon as the chickens came home to roost, he just kind of panicked.

"But it makes you wonder why he was writing to her every day for a year and promising marriage if he was going to be put off so quickly."

I concur.

Glover, who appears to be an idiot, upon learning of West's decision not to appeal her conviction said;

"I firmly believe that Rosemary West was wrongly convicted of murder and was sorry that she felt unable to proceed.

"Since then we have become good friends although reports that we spoke every day and exchanged hundreds of love letters are completely untrue.

"The effect on my life of the publicity surrounding these reports has been completely devastating.

"I have lost my livelihood, a job that I loved and was proud to have.

"Most importantly my family and friends have been caused untold distress."

Oh Mama Weer All Crazee Now!

The End
By Me

Gene Simmons Sex Tape?

2008-02-21T12:28:00.000+11:00

This is some truly disgusting shit. I think this may be the lamest root I have ever seen!
The one redeeming feature is the Foreigner soundtrack
Oh and I like how she won't kiss him....

watch for yourself HERE
very lame Gene, very lame Austrian energy drink spokesmodel. You both get a D minus.

Double Blogging

2008-02-21T12:21:00.002+11:00

Hello peeps, how are you?
Really?
A rash?
How exciting!

Just wanted to let you know that I am gonna be posting up here all my lame posts from the Myspace blog so if you came here from Myspace, all posts below catface will be fresh and exciting to you, all above will be old news.

That is all.
Over and Out.

Bitch Fight At Sonic Youth

2008-02-20T23:13:00.000+11:00

Last night I went to see Sonic Youth perform the entire Daydream Nation album at the Enmore. It was shit hot, I lie not!

I had the best position front side - no barrier (except for an occassional bouncer visit), and a wall of beer next to the amp....SWEET!

Then this bitch with anorexic fuzz all over her pushed up behind me, held her arm over my head and began flash photagraphing the band on her fuckin Blackberry.

A few snaps and I wouldn't have minded. Heck, being asked if I minded having her skinny bitch arm hanging over my head would have been nice too. But this cuntress just kept going - I swear she was planning on documenting the entire gig, bulbs flashing, over my perfect hairdo.

Na ugh. I said to the slut "can you stop that now? You have heaps of pics, just enjoy the band" and whore face said to me "fuck off"!
Oh no she din'it.

Then she did this little hip wiggle to make it look like she gave a shit about the music and I shoved her and told her to fuck off right back...it was ON!

She just kept calling me a bitch which was lame in comparison with my "cuntress" call, and she knew it. Then I told her to go back to the Hills (lame reality show about blonde bitches covered in anorexic fuzz wandering around being lame skanks) and she left. On my way out she came up and gave me a little shove and I shoved right back - bitch flew into a wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub

Don't fuck with the master!

UPDATE - sorry wrong link, but go there anyway!
as I was saying, flew into the wall like Paula Abdul at a nightclub!