Community Service For The Fat and Dead

Are you dead?
Are you fat?
Is it difficult to find a piano case in your locality?
If so Goliath Caskets could be just the company you are looking for.



Providing compassionate service and MASSIVE coffins for dead, fat people, this buisness has been "serving the needs of the Oversized Casket Community for 25 years!".

This team of experts can provide care as well as practical advice for the Fat Deads (I'm gonna trademark that!) and their loved ones during their difficult time.

Important tips include
"Let the funeral director know that your loved one is one of the bigger people."
and
"You may need to be prepared to buy two grave plots. Talk to your funeral director; ask him or her to check the family grave site opening." (Shias La Bouf, how big are these people?!)

Don't let the Fat Deads in your life suffer the indignity of being buried in an elevator. Do the right thing. Call these people today.

Note: I am in no way affiliated with this company Note Pt2: I am from a long line of fatties. It's glandular.

And so, once again we thank God for being all powerful and all mighty "...and until we meet again may God hold you in the palm of His hand".