How Much For That Jesus In The Dunny?

Man, my parents HATE Ikea. I've only been with them once, and they could not handle the regimented walkway at all! HAHAHA I laughed at them and said "you guys are sooooo old. Ikea is for hip young things. Here, have a doobie".

Dad cracked the shits, faked a diabetic hypo and left the store, completely disregarding the Ikea path in his hasty retreat. Luckily for all of us, the Ikea security chased his arse down and order was restored.

Once we recovered dad from the Ikea interrogation room, I got my stuff and told my dad he would have to build it.

I haven't seen a face that purple since Violet Beauregarde got all fat and shit in Willy Wonka. Man it was funny!

Anyway, maybe if we had been in Glasgow instead of Homebush, papa would have chilled out after seeing the face of his Lord in the turin dunny.

You should really read this article. The dude quoted has usurped Captain Faggo as my God.

There is also an awesome bitch fight going on over whether it is Jesus, Gandolf or one of the dudes from ABBA.

Oh, and parents, if you are reading this, you are not alone. "It's certainly not what you expect to find in an Ikea store. Mind you, you need a little divine intervention to get out of here sometimes."

And this is the word of the Lord
Amen.