Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Pain Of Beauty

Eva Longoria (who has a notoriously average sized clitoris), was amazed to be named The Worlds Sexiest Woman by Maxim for the 2nd year in a row.

The articulate midget shrieked, "I was like, 'Surely there are more beautiful women in the world.' I can name 10."

Only 10, huh?

I hate these people. It reminds me of that woman who plays Kate on the AWESOME Lost, who recently announced that she used to cry herself to sleep at night because she was soooo beautiful.

Don't these people have advisors to tell them that a bit of modesty will assist in not alienating their female fans?!

Wait, scratch that. I just remembered guys are idiots. You would not believe the amount of times I've insisted to disinterested men that I am hot, and, shazaam, they wanna get all up in my thing, even though I am a hook-nosed albino with a harelip.

Shout it from the rooftops, "I am a fox and Jessica Alba is an ugly shizznit". I guarantee, males will buy it, regardless (or perhaps because) of your extraneous nipples.

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