Naomis Shit Fit

Naomi done gone and got herslf arrested for bitchslaping another (her third) assistant.
Sheet, that woman is an ANIMAL.

Naomi Campbell has been arrested for allegedly assaulting her assistant.

... We're told the incident occurred at 8:00 AM EST. The alleged victim, a 41-year-old woman, was struck in the head with an object, allegedly thrown by Campbell.

The woman had a laceration on the back of her head. She went to Lenox Hill Hospital for stitches.

Image and info nicked from yummy Trent.

The Shania Defense

The most exciting news in the history of the world has happened, and it's happened, fittingly enough, to ME!

My delightful parents are giving me A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't drive, but hey, it will make a nice guest room.
ha.

No really, I'm going for my L's next week, and then I'll be driving Miss Daisy.
I'm not too concerned about being a late bloomer, re: driving.
Hell, if anything goes wrong, I'll just use the Shania Twain Defense.

One of the most notorious drunk drivers in the Ottawa area has been found not criminally responsible on his latest impaired driving charges because of a mental disorder that makes him believe female celebrities are controlling his actions.

Matt Brownlee believed singer Shania Twain was helping him drive. (AP file phot

The 33-year-old man told psychiatrists that he knew the legal repercussions of his actions, but believed singer Shania Twain was helping him drive.

Boy, do I know that feeling!
If only my spirit guide was Shania, instead of Whitney Housten.

Go read the article HERE. It's all true I tells ya.

PS, Anyone wanna give me a driving lesson? I have an awesome cassette collection.

Madges AIDS Comic

Madonna On Aids; A comic handed out one night only during a Madonna concert in 1987.

There's Ya Boyfriend

Hmmmm, clever lad!

Babyface

Love Babydoll

"Andy, You're A Star"

On the field I remember you were incredible
Hey shut up, hey shut up, yeah
On the field I remember you were incredible
Hey shut up, hey shut up, yeah
On the match with the boys, you think you're alone
With the pain that you drain from love
In a car with a girl, promise me she's not your world
Cause Andy, you're a star

Leave your number on the locker and I'll give you a call
Hey shut up, hey shut up, yeah
Leave your legacy in gold on the plaques that line the hall
Hey shut up, hey shut up, yeah

On the streets, such a sweet face jumping in town
In the staff room the verdict is in
In a car with a girl, promise me she's not your world
Cause Andy, you're a star
In nobody's eyes but mine
Andy, you're a star
In nobody's eyes but mine
Andy, you're a star
In nobody's eyes
In nobody's eyes but mine


Don't ask what this is about. Special message for a STAR.

More Killers lyrics for sad sacks like me HERE

Costume Party

Square America is a fantasable site featuring old photographs that make you gasp " oh la la loody loo loo".

I'm gonna break up this site into bite sized chunks for you, so today I present Costume Party.
If you are real keen baked bean, and looking for extra credit, you may look at the rest of the site on your own.

Bless you my child.

The Pink Lesbian

I know it's terribly unfashionable, but i just adore Pink.
She got game.
I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds good.

Anyway, I'm sure it's apparant to anyone with ocular orbs (that'd be eyes), that Pink ain't scared of a bit of rank danky dancing with the ladies.

She recently said;

"I had a girlfriend when I was 13 and she left me for my brother! "That kind of fucked me up.

"We held hands and we kissed and that was my girlfriend, that's what you do when you're 13! And she left me for my fucking brother! It was bizarre and twisted and fucked up and gross."

I'm sorry but your brother is an ARSEHOLE, or as we call it round here, a FRECKLE! ( note to self: Freckle is not a very confronting word...YET).

FYI: Doing a google image search under 'pink lesbian' is very enlightening.

I Pretty Socialist Revolutionary

OK, I think I've just reached a new low in my tragic life.

I went to this Face Recognition site to find out which celeb I most resembled and the answer was....
FIDEL CASTRO!

Thank you google, who tells me;

Fidel Castro's face, with its trademark beard, has become an iconic image worldwide, yet the man himself remains an enigma to all but a few.

We are 62% alike!

This has really fucked up my day. I woke up feeling pretty and delicate. Now all I want is a cigar.

Tell me who you get.

Hey, Shit Head!

The Poop Hat. Yum Yum!

That colour really would go with everything.
Hi y'all. Did ya miss me?

Shakira Has Penis?

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble,
so you don't confuse them, for mountains.

Lucky that my cock is erect and massive
so you don't confuse it, for a fountain."

Tattoo Travesties

Hands up who reckons this freak looks like Australian Idols Lee (I'm talkin' fucking Lee!) after a few years on the RSL circuit?


Very normal to get Brad Pitt and his adopted son inked onto your body.

OK. Those tatts are old news.

Let's get hip, happening and now.

Let's look at the disaster that is Torri Spelling's new fiancee.


Man, he's even put the canyon cleavage in.
Now I'm no wowser, but young man, you are going to regret that one day. Probably a day very near to today.

Celine Dion ROCKS

Oh...My...Lord.
Here is a very disturbing video of Celine Dion being Madonna.

Is there nothing that woman can't do?
No!
I can top that.
How does Celine doing Jacko sound to you?

It hurts so good.
Bring on Ice Ice Baby, Celine. You know it's the right thing to do.

Paris Riddled With Herpes

Paris has a nasty va va....

Quintana testified last month that his relationship with Hilton turned nasty after she overheard him informing her beau, Stavros Niarchos, that she might have a sexually transmitted disease.

"I wanted him to be aware of it--that she had herpes. To make sure he didn't catch anything. He informed me that he was [aware]," Quintana said.

He said Hilton interrupted his conversation with Niarchos and became "furious."

"She said, 'This is between the three of us; if this gets out you're a f---ing dead man,'" Quintana said. He claimed that after the exchange, he began receiving suspicious phone calls and started to believe his life was in "imminent danger."

Quintana further alleged Hilton "has a drug and alcohol problem, some rather shady associates and is known for erratic behavior."

Before They Were Stars

Here's a pretty fair gallery of stars before and after.
I find these two ladies decisively more attractive in their earlier incarnations.

Slack

I'm very bizzy at the moment so you will just have to bear with me...
Yesterday I auditioned for the role of a buxom wench...I will reveal all tomorrow.

au revoir....

4 The Lads N Lesbos

Do you like nude ladies?
Do you like Anti Terrorist laws?
Why don't you pop on over here and check out the New Airport Security system.
I don't love it, but I'm classy like that.

Art Shmart

Remember in the olden days when I said I was gonna start posting stuff about art?
I know you treasure every word I write, so you will not have forgotten this.

So's I stumbled across this lovely lot of sculptures by Shary Boyle.
They is good.
Want more arty macksharty?

Howz various representations of the Last Supper strike ye?


YOU DON'T LIKE IT???!!!


Well here's The Museum Of Bad Art. If you can't love something here, you are dead.
PS. This young chap above is entitled Johnny McGrory. I want to marry him.

Videos For Youse

Sorry I've been absent, you Princes of Maine...it's just that I've been busy reclining on my day bed, wearing white flowing gowns and eating Flakes in a whimsical manner.
That, and boating.
A good deal of boating.

So will this live action recreation of the Simpsons title cheer you up?
No!
How about Guther singing Tutti Fruittu Summer Love?
That's better, isn't it?!

Hmmmm

Rock Fantasy

Further to yesterdays comic post...here is a totally non-related comic post.
Bwah ha ha.

Ziggy Lives is from the Rock Fantasy series, and features David Bowie and his alter ego Ziggy Stardust, being aided in his far out quests by the likes of Ozzie Osbourne and Elton John.

Tops.

Lindsay Lohans Boob

That's all.

Anagram Map

People have been going mad on Boing Boing creating anagram transit maps.
Here's one for Sydney;
I reckon I can do better than that.
I'll give it a shot tomorrow, after I've had my morning Jesus Juice.

Gassy Lesbians

I like erotica as much as the next slutbag, and can honsetly say not much would surprise me.

Would this surprise you? A Tale Of gassy Lesbians.
Thought not, you stink mongers...

Veronica led Amy into her car, as class had ended. Amy's new mistress had deliberately withheld her gas.

Amy had long since submitted completely to Veronica. "Mistress, when are you going to fart again?" Amy said anxiously, already starting to miss the smell.

Vintage Comics HaHa

The very atrractive and intelligent Henry sent me these delightful comics from the days of old.

I am giving up being mean to Henry for lent. Wait a minute, that started yesterday and I called him a big fat baldy this morning.

Sorry Jebus.

Most Surely NSFW

Kung Fu Cockfighter in Five Minutes....
It's all you'll need!

Orange Crush

It'll be Awesome!

Classic Internet: Kikkoman

Ok, this is the deal...
I have bookmarked about ninety thirty bazillion sites and it is scaring me. So they are all coming up here so I can delete them, and you can see them.
I think that's fair.

So how do we feel about classic moments of internet history?
I feel very good about that, thankyou for asking!

Why don't you try Kikkoman on for size?! He is radalicious!

Stalker

Oh my lord, can anyone say stalker?!
You have to check out this odd tribute to love;
Bryans "I Love Trista" Page.

I have had many stalkers in my time...all weirdos, none hot.
I realised recently I haven't had one for awhile, and that left me with an overwhelming feeling of neglection.

Have I changed?
Have the losers changed?

What do I have to do to be pestered by virgin geeks again?
I miss those pitter patter sounds behind me when I walk down dark alley ways. To me, that is the sound of being wanted. That, good people, is the sound of LOVE.