Wednesday, October 28, 2009

An Amy Winehouse Nip

AMY WINEHOUSE HAS NEW BOOBS!!!!!!

No more to add. Oh except this is what her dad said about HIS DAUGHTERS TITS:

"(She's) fantastic. Her boobs are great as well! She looks absolutely fantastic.

"I didn't have to pay for it (boob job), that's all I know. I didn't have to pay for the boobs.

"There is no total recovery, it''s a recovery and if you look back to where we were a year ago, we are on a different planet.

We are in a different space and a different time and (Amy is) a different person."

Yes, we are now on planet boob. Thanks dad!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Semi-Awesome YouTube Comments

Go to Awesome YouTube Comments for a few chuckles. Or don't. I can't live your life for you, but if you follow my instructions YOU could live MINE!

“ I laughed, I cried, I pissed in my pants. An instant classic! ”



“ i don’t think you would be driving…. while taking a shit… ”


“ its from batman returns, the most sensitive of all the batmans ”

Police Sketches Can be Fun

I would be the worst witness to a crime ever. I once spent 25 minutes chasing a dog, thinking it was mine, only to find it had a big penis attached to it. Well nobody told me Rizzo weren't packing heat, day'um.

Does that story even relate to this story? Whatever.

I could never understand how police sketches work. I could probably tell you what they smelled like, for I can name every flavour of lynx, rexona and impulse ever released, but what their nose looked like? Bitch, please, I'm a busy woman searching for pennies in the gutter. How else am I gonna get home from the free soup kitchen?

Which doesn't really bring me here, but let's just say it did...

I very much enjoyed this collection of bizarre police sketches. Check it out.... fool!

Reverse Photobombs


Here is a somewhat stupid collection of Reverse PhotoBombs.

I chose to go with the picture above, because that is probably my arse up there.

The whole world has seen my butt. It hangs out with wild abandon.

My Perfect Date

Has this woman been reading my diary?!

It's like she is looking into my very soul....

Noah Cyrus Phone Home


This is nine year old Noah Cyrus, Miley's little sister, off to enjoy an evening in the Playboy grotto.

Now first up, isn't Noah a boys name? As in Noah's Ark? As in that hot dredded tennis player Noah Whatever The F is surname was? Um Noah...well the dude that built the ark?!

OK, I may be wrong, and let's face it, it wouldn't be the first time.
Besides, there are bigger things to worry about here, like for example, has Billy Ray taken up dentistry?


Are you dawgs fer real?!
Red lipstick?!
Get this child in a snuggy and take her to an oral surgeon stat.

Please see my Halloween Hell post below for a cautionary tale regarding dressing as a slut too early. Surely there is something in between pumpkins and whores? For the love of all that is sacred, whatever happened to ghosts?!


Actually, whatever happened to ET?!

Flying Undies

Underpants are cool. Flying underpants are cooler.



Wow, look at them go!

Imagine looking out of your Virgin Blue window and copping that! That would be worth the price of the ticket alone!

Some dude was so inspired by this he constructed his own pair of parachuting panties. This world is truly filled with awesome.



He's 45! GROSS!

The grossest thing in the world is someone who is old and trying to act cool and with it.

You know the type; wearing disgusting rats-tails, grinding their pleather pants on teenagers in bars, shopping at supre.

These types remind me of the Donnas song Dirty Denim;

"You look like you've only slept for an hour
You smell like you haven't taken a shower
And your hair is so dirty
It makes you look like you're 30!"

Haha that always cracks me up. Thirty is GROSS!

Don't get me wrong, I love people aging disgracefully, but please, put down the Paul Robinson denim jacket and skinny tie. No one is enjoying it.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Halloween Hell

When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to watch Young Talent Time because everyone on it was a slut. That didn't stop me from naming my Cabbage Patch Kid Bevan, after my one true love who was eerily name Bevan too! *SWOON* What a HUNK!

So because my folks were such straights Halloween wasn't really *done* in our house. I did, however, go to one Halloween party and in a troubling precognition of what my adult body would turn out like, I was dressed like this kid:




As the years went on, I found I was typecast. I would always be the round, jolly orange girl in the corner. High school was hell.Then I met a man with a similar upbringing. He also wasn't allowed to watch YTT. He wasn't even allowed to watch the Brady Bunch because, you guessed it, everyone on it was a slut.

The pumpkin dude is ok, but we find "congress" to be difficult due to our round shapes. We have consulted obesity websites, but all those tips require a large member. So here I am, rotund, orange and uselessly married to this dude:



Thanks to my parents early imput, the trajectory of my life has been globular and lame. In my twilight years I will look like this:



I often wonder how my life might have turned out if my parents had dress me like this when I was three:

As the years passed I would have got just that little bit more sexier. Darryn O'Malley probably would have asked me to the year 3 Halloween Disco if he had known this was gonna pop out:



Year six would have been all hot babes and fast cars. Damn my parents and their conservitive, pumpkin loving values.




I probably would never have dropped out of uni and settled into a life of orange mediocrity. I could have flown out of the bible belt on my vibrating broom. I'd probably land in Hughs grotto, and you would be tuning in to watch me on channel E right now!

I would have married well, probably to a man of the cloth and a woman of the wicca persuasion. Damn things could have been good.




So at this time of year, I reflect on what could have been. As I step into another form fitting pumpkin suit, I look at my pumpkin dude and think to myself "If only I had been allowed to be a slut all those years ago".

Parents, take heed! Every pumpkin shaped costume is doing your kid damage. Get that beyatch into a corset and suspenders stat. There really is nothing worse than being a wall pumpkin.






Twilight Nipple Scene

I have never seen Twilight, but I am hoping that by posting that title, tweens will flock to Busting Out and check out Amy Winhouses' pubes.

As for this R Patz character, I am not sure. I guess he's OK. He's not all that though. I mean, he looks a little bit special and smelly.

Well anyway, here is a deleted scene from Twilight featuring an amazing nipple shot. You are welcome.



Ps. Can someone let me know where that Amy Winehouse apostrophe belongs. Despite dabbling in a communication degree I have no idea how to spell and/or write proper.

Beat On The Brat

Beat On the Brat is an awesome song. Here. Let's listen to it:



So romantic, don't you think?!

So that song is the raddness, but what is not bodacious is beating up kids in real life. What's even worse is beating up a kid 'cause he is pouring sand into another kids butt crack. Sometimes it is just one of those days.

Hitting these kids only leads to this kind of behaviour:



Oh my flying spaghetti monster! That must have been some beating!

I once was babysitting a kid who tore all his clothes off and stuck a hose up his bum. The hose was ON!
But did I hit him? No! Once the hose had been gently removed I ran into the bathroom and laffed my arse off. And now I am writing about it on the internet!

Anyways, the only way to deal with this kind of thing is to remix it into an hilarious song. Enjoy.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Hmmmm

Sparrow Is Not A Name

Nicole Richie has named her newborn son Sparrow. What a dickhead.

If they were naming him after this hot slut....


...they have failed. His first name was Captain. I guess the father is in a band called Good Charlotte. They are obviously all idiots.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Black and WTF

Black and WTF.
Pretty good.




Hillary Duffs Nips


I always thought the Hillster, or perhaps the Duffster, was a cutie pie. I especially liked it when she got those massive horse chomper veneers. It's all the rage! Don't change the record and do not turn the page, no matter WHAT Betty Boo tells you to do.

Anyway, here she is, highbeaming on some movie set for some upcoming load of crap about some girl looking for love instead of looking for cock. Lame.

How Much For That Jesus In The Dunny?

Man, my parents HATE Ikea. I've only been with them once, and they could not handle the regimented walkway at all! HAHAHA I laughed at them and said "you guys are sooooo old. Ikea is for hip young things. Here, have a doobie".

Dad cracked the shits, faked a diabetic hypo and left the store, completely disregarding the Ikea path in his hasty retreat. Luckily for all of us, the Ikea security chased his arse down and order was restored.

Once we recovered dad from the Ikea interrogation room, I got my stuff and told my dad he would have to build it.

I haven't seen a face that purple since Violet Beauregarde got all fat and shit in Willy Wonka. Man it was funny!

Anyway, maybe if we had been in Glasgow instead of Homebush, papa would have chilled out after seeing the face of his Lord in the turin dunny.

You should really read this article. The dude quoted has usurped Captain Faggo as my God.

There is also an awesome bitch fight going on over whether it is Jesus, Gandolf or one of the dudes from ABBA.

Oh, and parents, if you are reading this, you are not alone. "It's certainly not what you expect to find in an Ikea store. Mind you, you need a little divine intervention to get out of here sometimes."

And this is the word of the Lord
Amen.

I LOVE THE INTERNET!

Welcome to the internet. I invented it just over four years ago. Do you like it? I sure hope you do! It took a lot of work to get it up and running!

You can use the internet to find out all sorts of things. What is the name of that bird I just saw pooing on my car? How many animals really did die in the making of Milo and Otis? Why does Billy Bob Thonrton only eat orange food?

All this and more can be discovered on my magical invention, the internet. Here is a video to explain more:

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Real Kurt and Courtney



Wow. Just...WOW.

Hollywood Glamour

Time for a Busting Out style report, and today we have three unique and challenging looks.

First up we have the amazing Ms. Versace:




GOOD! Gorgeous! Stunning work here Donatella! Don't let anybody stop you baby. Versace is all about risks, and honey, this outfit looks like both a fashion and a medical risk.

Do not be giving Donatella any grief. This poor bitch has been through enough. She lost her septum in a tragic caving accident, her brother was murdered, her daughter is anorexic, and she looks like Lady GaGa's mangina. ENOUGH I SAY! SHe is fab and you wish you were her.

Let us move on.



OK, what the fuck is going on here Lindsay?

That dusty pink thing looks like my nannas toilet seat cover, and now that I think about it, the dress underneath looks like my nannas bedroom quilt.

Looking even closer, that face, that glazed expression...OH MY FUCKING GOD, NANNA?! Get back to the Glamour Retirement Village stat! You don't want to miss the creamed corn and trifle bingo night do you?!

Fernando is calling the numbers tonight, sweetheart.

Let us clean our minds with this next hot look:

Captain Faggo is my GOD! That pantless dude behind Captain Faggo is all "hell yeah, go Captain Faggo! Work it beyatch!".

When Captain Faggo is not hanging around in parks drinking goon and playing shuttlecock, he can be found soaring through the skies sprinkling Captain Faggo glitter wherever he goes.

Heed my words, Captain Faggo is going to save us from global warming. Remember this face. He is your saviour.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

9th Century Form Letter 4 Drunks

This letter is being photocopied and laminated for my daily use.



TRANSLATION
Yesterday, having drunk too much, I was intoxicated as to pass all bounds; but none of the rude and coarse language I used was uttered in a conscious state. The next morning, after hearing others speak on the subject, I realised what had happened, whereupon I was overwhelmed with confusion and ready to sink into the earth with shame.

Yes, we have all been there. A timeless problem really.

You should really check this site out, Letters Of Note. It's one of the best things going baby!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Playboys Slippery Slope

ARRRRR MY EYES MY EYES!

I was just thinking that I could do a follow up on the Marge Playboy spread by showing explicit fan art, but oh dear holy crazies in heaven, the internet took me places I wish I had never been!

OUTRAGEOUS!

People can be very, very wrong. URGH!

Ok. Well I just had to share with you my horror. If you google "Simpsons" and "Porn" you will find what I mean. I couldn't give a shit if it was Marge and Homer, but getting the kids involved.....WOAH! GROSS ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!

Am I gonna go to jail?
Please no! I didn't want to be there!

Here, lets look at some flowers!


Oh god, even they look disgusting now!

Balloon Boy Upsets Hitler



I don't think I will ever tire of this meme!

Imagine Babyz!

(image link)


WOW! I have dared to imagine all of these things! Now where is "Imagine Dole Bludger"?

Classic Eames Polaroid Vid



I have a Spice Girls polaroid camera. It is USELESS now that you can't buy the film and that is possibly the shittiest thing to have happened E.V.E.R. IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE.

PS This video was created by Charles and Ray Eames. My parents own an Eames chair and it is gonna be mine after I send them and my siblings off in an experimental balloon. MINE I TELLS YOU!

pps. Broke brain = bad writing. sorry.

Marge In Playboy

And so this proves once and for all, Marge has fake tits. See the rest HERE.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Suri - Girl Interrupted

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train was moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.


Jamie was sad last week after Lisa ran away, so she hung herself with a volleyball net.




Help me understand, Dais 'cause, I thought you didn't do Valium. Tell me how this safety net is working for you. Tell me that you don't take that blade and drag it across your skin and pray for the courage to press down. Tell me how your *daddy* helps you cope with that. Illuminate me.





You think you're free? I'm free! You don't know what freedom is! I'm free. I can breathe. And you... will choke on your average fuckin' mediocre life!





Alright, listen. Tongue your meds tonight. After 1 o'clock checks Gretta always goes out for a smoke. Check the mirrors and if they're clear you go down to Hector's closet. It's near the art room and it will be open.






I am going to be the Cinderella at Walt Disney's new theme park, Susanna's gonna be Snow White. You can come if you want. You can be the Cocker Spaniel that eats spaghetti.






They didn't release you 'cause you're better, Daisy, they just gave up. You call this a life, hmm? Taking Daddy's money, buying your dollies and your knick-knacks... and eatin' his fuckin' chicken, fattening up like a prize fuckin' heifer?
You changed the scenery, but not the fucking situation - and the warden makes house calls. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he fucks you. What they don't know... is that you like it. Hmm? You like it.

Where The Wild Things Are

Maurice Sendak was asked by Dave Eggers "What do you say to parents who think the Wild Things film may be too scary? "Read the rest of this fantastic interview with Maurice Sendak HERE. That is all.

Breakfast For Arnie




Detective John Kimble: Are these all your lunches?
[Boy shakes his head]
Detective John Kimble: You mean you eat other people's lunches?
[Boy nods]
Detective John Kimble: STOP IT!

WHAT A BABY!
(link)

Bruce Willis Peen

I am providing this as a community service. I in no way find Bruce Willis hot. NEVER, ever, ever have.
Anyway, here is the Willis willy if you would like to take a gander.

I will not insult your intelligence by reminding you that this link is not safe for work. What does that mean, anyway? Some people work in sex shops for your information, people who invent internet acronyms....

The Batman Kid

I'm loving these kids sick! FULLY SICK!



And the "special thanks to Dad" at the end? Shiyat. My Dad didn't even help me make my monkey magic stick when I was a kid. Arseholis Eruptus.

BOSOM Gig!


Don't forget that my band BOSOM is playing October 17th at the Roxbury! Come along and have a beer spilled on ya weave!

Regretsy Roolz OK!

I've been checking out the amazing website Regretsy since its inception, and it must be said, this shit just keeps getting better and better!

I don't have a cat, but I would hang that on the front porch in the off chance that MC Skat Kat passes my way anytime before autumn hits.

I was very upset to see that THIS piece was gone. I am not lying. I covet it!

Go get yourself some bargains for xmas. Secret Santa may never be the same again.

Friday, October 09, 2009

School Of Pain

A while ago when my Dad was in hospital, he was fortunate enough to time his illness around the Billy Bass craze. I say fortunate because he received one as a gift from each of his children.

Did I mention that there are six of us?

That was very distressing for all involved.

Oh look, here are some distressed fish....


Say WHAT?!



I just heard Michael Jackson died!

WTF?!


(picture link)

Call MC. Call MC Now

Once when I was in highschool I made a very dramatic entrance into the locker room doing MC Hammers crab dance.

My how we laughed. We laughed and laughed for hours and hours on end!

P.E was cancelled that day because everyone was laughing so much, half the class had broken ribs! This is a true story.

If only I had know MC Hammer was waiting on calls! I would have gone down to the school office phone and told him all about it.

Cry Baby Cry

Are you having a rough day. Let it all out with someone who cares for only $2 a minute.....


Jesus Hits Me

It is not a hangover, I am being spanked by the Lord!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

LURVE!

I am The Anti-linker!

When I stumbled upon this picture I thought to myself "that is one sweet picture, imma gonna put that on my blog". Then I was gonna link to the blog where I found it, for that is the law on the internet.

That was until I saw how this particular person had tagged the picture. Can I have an AMEN for "KIDS" and "SEXY".

This is on the first page of google images when you search "kids".....

And THIS is on the first page of google images when you search "sexy"....

HAHA Actually, they are quite similar. Well that has put a dampener on my moral outrage. I'm still not gonna link to you though, because you use Comic Sans, and that is also against the law on the internet.

Note: I have no idea why comic sans sux, but I always see geeks making jokes about it and I just want to fit in.

Suck Miley Off n Pop Her Cherry!



Funny Exams. Stupid name. Descriptive name. Some exams with funny answers. Funny. Exams.

Parents and Nikki Webster and Stuff

This tumbler page is called I Hate My Parents, but for the life of me, I can't figure out why these kids would hate their's:


And this kid here has a TIGER!


You know whose parents I hate? I hate Websters parents. Not his original ones who died, but his adopted ones, the Papadapolisissssses. They always made fun of kids who couldn't say their names right, and that's a pretty hard name for a non Greek kid to say. Kid's are dumb and are still learning to talk! Geez louise, cut the idiots some slack!

Also Papa George had total PaedoFace. (Is the "a" and the "e" the wrong way round? I don't feel comfortable looking that one up right now!)

The mum (sorry MOM), was ok I guess. She was pretty hot.

"oooh we are so excited to have Webster in our lives. Get the balloons and fly him outta here!"

Did you know they were married in real life too? That grosses me out. Imagine if Karl and Susan were really married. Urgh. Thank god for everyone Susan is a lesbian. Actually Karl's pretty cute. I'd probably do him.

"I'd do you too Wiz"

Um, yeah, so anyway, Websters parents. What I want to know is what kind of moron would give such a tiny kid so many helium balloons? (And NO google image search, I did NOT mean Nikki Webster!)

(But you know I did get curious and looked for pictures of Nikki Webster holding balloons. I found none, but I did find some stupid mother [a parent I now also hate] who had posted a picture of her kids watching the olympics.

She wrote, "Note I thought the opening ceremony was great except for the Asian 'Nikki Webster', that wasnt very original."

You fucking bitch. Nikki Webster FLEW. Can YOU fly??? Didn't think so loser,, so sit the fuck down.


And as for that other little girl you refer to, her life became an Ashlee Simpsonesque lip synching hell! Join Websters parents at the back of the room!)

OK, where was I? Oh Websters parents. Yeah, they sucked. That mum couldn't cook for shit.

This kid is having a few problems with his parents as well. Man, parents are crap!