Monday, May 29, 2006

My Plane!

My lovely bosom buddy Nellie sent me this picture of a WizzAir Plane. You can make it bigger and see my plane in all its glory.
She took this in Luton Airport.
Thanks my spectacular pal!

Six For Simon Townsend

When I was a wee little thing, not long out of nappies (and not far behind a training bra), I was on Simon Townsends Wonderworld.

It was a segment on mushrooms, and I handed around a box of mushies to all the kids in the audience. Little did I realise that a few years later I would be picking through cow shit in the mountain ranges of Lismore, looking for more mushrooms to hand around to the kids, but that's another story.


Anyway, that's why todays link dump is called Six For Simon Townsend. If you don't like it you can fuck off.

1. Simon Townsends Wonderworld. Do you think he was a rock spider?



2. The First Annual Myspace Stupid Haircuts Award. I'm on Myspace. Wanna be my friend?


3. Beer For Dogs. Woodrow would have loved this! The first night I bought my beyatch Rizzo home, she knocked over longnecks and slurped up beer all evening. I knew then I had found my true dog match.



4. Duct Tape Wall Hangings.
Because sometimes, blutac is just not enough.


5. Some Of Dales Pictures. It's a little known fact that Dale is Simon Townsends best friend and the inspiration behind Wonderworld.



6. Does Viagra Keep Flowers From Wilting?
An important experiment, that was first tested on Simon Townsends Wonderworld. Fact.

My Weekend

Looking in my mirror I see Caz and Rocky and Tiff and Arch, and I can see Helen shaking her little coins for cancer tin. No Helen, no! Don't shove that delicious pastry good down my maw!

So make of that what you will.

Balmain was cold but delightful. The natives were very friendly and kept their jazz tunes down to a dull roar.

I learned how to play poker, and I learned the true meaning of christmas.
AWWWWWWW.

Now, on to this week.
We have a big week coming up at Busting Out. The Busting Out Bra Competition will be winding up this week, so if you haven't already got your entry in, get posting!

So far Carls winning, cause he's the only person I assume it will fit. If you feel your perky boobs deserve this prize more, don't whinge....make a poem ya big teste face!

In other news, if you are a tape swapper, I hope your CDs have been posted! Only two more days, or I'll spank you.

And now for the Geri pics I promised Hank...
I have TONNES of Geri pics, so I may post them over a couple of days.
enjoy, fine lovers of the ginger minge


Saturday, May 27, 2006

Those Crazy Kids

Paris lets her nip out while shooting a music video. Crank up 'the nips are getting bigger' and click on the pic!

Meanwhile David Silver who DJ'd at 90210's finest school, was spotted getting man handled by his lady love...and it wasn't Donna Martin!

And finally Jared Leto has announced that he is as gay "as a goose".
If you click the pic you won't have to put on your spectacles.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Happy Towel Day


Today is Towel Day in honour of the fantasable Douglas Adams.

The rules?
Carry a towel around all day.
That's me above.

Bai Ling Nip

I Love the Bai Ling. She's a unit indeedy doody.
Here is her nipple popping out to say hello at Cannes. Click it and sing "the nips are getting bigger".

"I often feel like I have this spirit living inside of me, always dressing in like short mini skirts... but then I start to discover myself. So there are eight spirits, mischievous ones, sad ones, handsome ones, wise ones, and crazy ones."
Bai Ling

Sorry Poofs

I'd just like to say that I LOVE the gays...
Of late I have been writing a lot about gaylords, poofs and bum bandits.
I in no way mean to offend anyone, and, as I believe I've mentioned before, I mean it in the way a seven year old shouts it in the playground.

If you know me, you'll understand, and would never have been upset in the first place (and may I add, u have impeccable taste in friends).

I think everyone likes to smoke a good doodle.
See you at Mardi Gras beyatches.

Kurts Last Moments


This is kinda neat. Kurts final day played out with barbies. I wonder if Kurt would have liked Sisqo.

Six For Sisqo

Thanks for the overwhelming response regarding Six For Stuart. I believe I received ONE email saying it was a bodacious idea, and that was from Stuart!

I also received 3 (count 'em, 3), messages asking me if I was in love with Stuart, and why didn't I marry him if I love him so much.

Well sorry Mum, but he is a gaylord and also a father and also he is a poof, so that's not gonna happen.

Now I happen to like the idea of unloading six crap links a day, but I can see Stuarts head from here already....

Hence, todays instalment is called Six for Sisquo, 'cause he sang the Thong Song and that song taught me everything I'll ever need to know about true romance.


1. The Thong Song Lyrics.
This sing is so beautiful. I'm surprised people don't use these lyrics as wedding vows. They shit all over Kahlil Gibran!



2. Play Along Sisqo Doll.
Recommended age, 3-14, available in red leather, white leather or yellow leather. This is an appropriate gift for your next Bat/bar Mitvah.



3. Socks And Sandals.

Dob in your dad! I did.

4. Don't Date Him Girl.
It's not enough to cut off his penis. These days that could turn him into a holy porn star. So what to do if you are a woman scorned? Get on the internet and tell the world what a dud root he was. It's actually worth sifting through some of the crap testimonials in search of gems such as;

"not only is he selfish, broke, and ---but also DEEPLY insecure. I was involved with him for a year or so, and never saw his legs...". I think that's a good reason to break up with someone!

5. Princess Leia Fans In Costume.
This is awesome, and I'm sure some of my idiot nerd friends will find this highly sexy. Where's the Jabba Da Hut sight for chubby chasers like myself?

6. Me Singing Sisqo
Not ME but me as in him as in some dude. It's funny, it's heartfelt, but it ain't the thong song.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

P Diddy Speaks


    "Women are more different than anything, any
creature, (any) beautiful animal in the world.
They're just the most complex, different. I
don't think no human being has been able to just
figure out the woman. As complicated as I'm
explaining it to you, that's how it is."

Wow, thanx P.Diddy, I feel sooo understood now. Cool rocket dude.

Oh Lordi...


Lordi are the BEST BAND IN THE WORLD!
Congratulation on winning 2006 Eurovision with the awesome hit Hard Rock Hallelujah!

Go and dowload their albums right now!

My bud Adam lives in Finland. What's the vibe over there right now, mr?
I think I should interview you.
Your national song RAWKED!
love the monster rock.

Geri's Starkers and Crackers

Another baby! This time it's my pal Geri Halliwell...the best spice girl there ever was!

I've read both her autobiographies, and I gotta say, that girl is a few tracks short of an album.
So was I surprised to discover she'd called her newborn Bluebell Madonna?

Yes actually, I was.


Here she is naked...

Six For Stuart

Stuart is a gaylord and is under the impression that beer talked to him and told him there would be six Busting Out entries a DAY.

Must have been a crazy beer, dude!

So, for Stuart, here are six links.
Now hush those tears, ya fag!
Tell me folks, should I make Six for Stuart a regular feature?
Or does it just suck?

1. Most Creative Porn Actor Who Invent Helicopter Fuck


2.Vintage Dogs3. The Popcorn Song4. Hyperhero5. Spacesuited Women

6. Punk Rock Aerobics

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The Da vinci Slut

Oh Madonna, while the little baby Jesus sheds a tear, all the cherubs in heaven secretly vogue.

Meat Baby

OK the story goes thusly....
Stuart sent me a HORRIBLE video of a man masterbating and then running up to a woman and ejaculating on her.

I was APPALLED and told him so and now he's just sent me an email calling me a 'poof'.

As you can see, I know some very lovely people.
Fuck you Sturat, you're a 'poof' and you smell funny and your facial hair is weird and you smoke and I quit so there!

Anyway, that's not the good bit.
I thought it best to send him a link to google images of cute baby animals to wipe away the nastiness.
I didn't really look at it or nuthin.

THEN I was perusing the pics and noticed something awesomely awry. The 11th image was entitled 'meat baby' and looked suspiciously like a woman holding a pile of meat.

HAHA. And that is the true story of how I disovered Meatsicle.com and the fabulous Meat Baby.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Climb Every Mountain

Gee, gay folk can do anything these days.
It'sa funny.

Damn Kids


I saw how you spent ya weekend you filthy whore!
I got me the pictures RIGHT HERE.

Oh, and I fogot to post this hilarious video of Tom Cruise dancing. He dances just like my brother...unco.

Sorry bro, but it's true. The whole family agrees.

1991 called, it wants its dance moves back.

hahahaha

Baby Spenerlines BUZZ

Poor Brits, she really is a crappola mom.
First the kids high chair broke and he fractured his head. This child was obviously already behind the 8 ball, he really should be fitted out for a stackhat...
then she had two car 'incidents' and THEN she nearly dropped him in front of the papz, afterwards she was heard to say "this is why I need a gun".

Hmmm normal.

Oh well, at least she was listening in home ec classes. She obvously knows about nutrition.

BodYart

Really Bad Tattoos. I wouldn't say anything too loudly about that guy with the pretty face drawings...

My penny jar is filling up for my new tattoo. It's gonna be swell, and look a little like the one pictured above.

PS. Listen to The Moldy Peaches. I love them today.

CongRaTulaTionS!

Welcome to this crazy world, Miles!
Have you heard of Tom Cruise yet?
Congrats to Mummy Ash and Daddy Anton and Doggy Corkey!
Picture by Anton...thanx for the cigar!

10 Commandments ROOL

As a young lass the most exciting thing for a Friday night was Bible epics.
Sure, they were boring, but they were long, REALLY long, and I got to stay up late, and sometimes Mum and Dad even forgot to make me say my prayers, so there.

Bet you didn't know my youth was so exciting.

This leads me to 10 Things I Hate About Commandments
It's kinda funny, but it will never be The Shining. That poos all over these mash ups, natch.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Pain Of Beauty

Eva Longoria (who has a notoriously average sized clitoris), was amazed to be named The Worlds Sexiest Woman by Maxim for the 2nd year in a row.

The articulate midget shrieked, "I was like, 'Surely there are more beautiful women in the world.' I can name 10."

Only 10, huh?

I hate these people. It reminds me of that woman who plays Kate on the AWESOME Lost, who recently announced that she used to cry herself to sleep at night because she was soooo beautiful.

Don't these people have advisors to tell them that a bit of modesty will assist in not alienating their female fans?!

Wait, scratch that. I just remembered guys are idiots. You would not believe the amount of times I've insisted to disinterested men that I am hot, and, shazaam, they wanna get all up in my thing, even though I am a hook-nosed albino with a harelip.

Shout it from the rooftops, "I am a fox and Jessica Alba is an ugly shizznit". I guarantee, males will buy it, regardless (or perhaps because) of your extraneous nipples.

Pssstttt


I hate to break up the party but.....(click here you filthy perve)

The Tony Danza Code


Getting mighty sick of The Da Vinci Code, so was pleased to discover a new mystery...

The Tony Danza Code

A recent article in The New England Journal of Medicine claims that Tony Danza possesses 3 fully formed hearts. This physiological anomaly is the only way to explain how much Tony cares about his fans.

YEE HAW

PS. She's Out Of Control is an AWESOME movie.

Mayor Candidates Rool OK

The race to become Mayor of New Orleans is on. Big job, right?

Well I found this remarkable interview with the two candidates, Mitch Landrieu and Ray Nagin where I discovered the following pearls of wisdom;

Q: What song sums up the last eight months for you?

Landrieu: "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee." It's a Christian song that keeps coming back to mind when I think about hope and the future. I sing it all day long.

Nagin: Aretha Franklin -- "R-E-S-P-E-C-T."

Q: If you have to evacuate your home and can only take one item with you, what is that prized possession?

Landrieu: My kids.

Nagin: One item? Probably my iPod.

Q: My wife thinks bald guys are sexy. Does that give the edge to you or your opponent?

Landrieu: It depends on whether she likes tall guys or short guys.

Nagin: It depends on whether she likes Chia Pets or not.

Last question: There's another flood. You are in a rescue boat. You arrive at a rooftop to find Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. There's only room for one in the boat. Who do you take?

Landrieu: They both get left.

Nagin: I give them the boat and get on the roof and wait for the helicopter.

I was all for Nagin until the last question. People who know what Chia Pets are should not sacrifice themselves for vacuous STD hosts. I like Landrieu's tough love approach to that last issue.

New Kid On The Block

This is a REAL McDonalds ad, announcing the opening of a new 'restaurant' in India.
That, in case you are special, is a baby Ronald McDonald.

Go Here and read the comments section. It makes me giggle.

That kid looks like it's gagging for some meat.
I'm going to hell.

Lindsays Monsterous Clitoris

I'm sure you're all aware of the war between Paris and Lindsay Lowhore. Well it's just got a lot more exciting, with Brandon Davis weighing in on the battle...

“Lindsay Lohan is a firecrotch, she has freckles coming out of her vagina, and her clitoris is seven feet long.”

That's what he says!

It's amazing how they can photoshop that monster out of all her pictures.
Is there something bad about having a seven foot clit?
She should slap him in the face with it!

HA.

GO and watch the video of his anti giant clit rant HERE...

Is it wrong to say I wish my love button was seven foot long? Actually, I'd settle for six foot.