Bust Out Jordan

Busting Out's Patron Saint for This Week:
JORDAN!

6 Days to Halloween

Some more sexy costumes for you to contemplate....

How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love

JT's Meat Slap

11 days 'til H'ween

The Wardrobe Malfunction!

14 Days 'Til Haloween

For your favourite stepchild....The Toilet.

Dita Does London

Here are some saucy pics of Dita Von Teese doing her burlesque act in London.
Isn't she fabulous!?

And she's REAL burlesque, not some lameo Pussycat Doll;

"I hear people who are trying to do burlesque say, 'Well, we won't take off our clothes because that's not classy', and that's offensive and disrespectful to stars from the past like Gypsy Rose Lee.'

"I'm trying to set the record straight about what burlesque was: it's not just about a style or a look. It's about stripping."

Lets Get Physical

I think Carmen Electra is really cute, despite her fake arse titties. And guess what else? It seems Electra (is it weird that her surname is the same as a complex involving daddy love?), anyway, wot was I saying?

Oh yeah, It seems that she's got a very enquiring mind too!

"I'm really into quantum physics.
Some of my friends are into it, some of them aren't, so I'm trying to get them excited about discovering all these interesting things about thoughts and the power of thoughts.

It gives me chills thinking about it. It's fun."

HAHAHAHA!
It's fun, dudes!
I tried to wrap my brain around the basic concepts of QP a few years ago, and fun is not the adjective I would use. Weird and non-sensical (sp?) Yes. Whacky! Far OUT! Yes! Fun, well maybe.......'The Power of Thoughts' is a curious thing. Isn't that a Huey Louis song?

Bust Out Patricia!

Patricia Arquette; This weeks Patron Saint at Busting Out!

Too Much, Not Enough

I just got emailed something rad!
Unlike yesterdays effort, this is actually REAL. (Yes, gentle reader, Wet Ned was a figment of my imagination. There will be no July wedding at Mount Druitt Waterworks [are they still open?])

Anyway, Ella Barclay is an artiste (pronounce it how I write it beyatches), who in recent times proved that you can in fact polish a turd.

She writes;

Here's my latest art project, it's a wank but you might like it.
Takes 12 minutes to chomp through. use some headphones.

It's pretty whack.

Keep blogging or I die

x
ella


Whilst her sign off appealed to my ego and love of the dramatic, that is not why I am posting this.
You should all watch this crazy Lynchesque fil'um.
There is poo in it.
Need I say more?

And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, can someone buy me a poo brooch? It could be my birthday and christmas present?! (Don't you hate went December spawn have to resort to that!)


But seriously.....I.....WANT.....POO....BROOCH.

Vintage Arnie

Well, why the hell not?

True Wet Love

Here is a letter I recieved yesterday, complete with photos.

Dear Wiz,

I came across your website the other day and thought "Oh woweee zoweee, I have found my one true love".

Let me tell you a bit about myself.

I have six sisters. We are very close, and I am afraid if you accept my offer of love you must also accept Latetia, Shanice , Roshanda, Ebony, Aaliyah , and Moesha into your heart.
They really are a lot of fun, so don't worry your pretty little head about that.

Here is a picture of us at Dad's funeral. It was a true viking send off.

In my down time, I just like to hang around, you know, chill, that sort of stuff.
You must be aware that bouyancy is very important to me.

I have gotten the impression from your 'Blog' that you are rather 'bosomy', shall we say. This is good. This means you will be able to float by my side.

Below is a picture of me with my daughter, Meg Ryan. I only adopted her last year. She is very well behaved and understands my life completely. She also does a mean Barbeque.

I hope one day all of us may float together in harmony. Perhaps we will be together in time for Meg Ryans 30th birthday, which we will be celebrating in November at Homebush Aquatic Centre.

I just LOVE this next picture of me and Meg Ryan. It really captures our impish charm, don't you think?
I was trying not to laugh when this was taken. Meg Ryan had just let off a ripper, and man, it was soooo hard not to crack up.
We really do have a lot of fun


But it's not all fun and games. I do have a serious and sensitive side. This next picture shows Meg Ryan and I deeply involved in a rebirthing session.
We try to do this at least once a week, to keep in touch with our inner mummies.
I made Meg Ryan wear her bathers for this shot, but usually we are entirely naked. No point being rebirthed if you can't see the birth canal!

So there you have it. A little info about the man who loves you from across the internet ocean.
I hope you can find some time to respond to me.
I am a loving father to Meg Ryan, but my heart still has room for more LOVE.
Yours in eternal dampness
Wet Ned


What do you think? Is he THE ONE?

Brokeback Mount Him

I know i'm a bit late on this, but I am just now watching Brokeback Mountain, and LORDY, it is soooooo hot!

Gotta say, though, Heath's 60 yr old Elvis accent is a bit MUCH.
BUT JAKEY POO AND THEM BABY BLUES......swoon. What a fox.

Let's step back in time and watch the awesome parody Brokeback To The Future.

PS michelle williams has FREAKISHLY long ape arms

Keith Urban In Playgirl

Here are some old pics of semi-clothed Keith Uraban, before he became our Nicoles suitor.
I have a confession to make....I think he would be a really good root.

Despite his frosted locks and perfectly applied makeup, I reckon he's kinda hot.
sorry.
He does have very small man nips though, don't he?!

Wilted Rose

If I had a dick, it would be limp right now.
WHY???
WHY?????
Beacause THIS;


Turned into THIS;
When did Rose Macgowen become Terri Hatchet Face?
She used to be the hawtest of the hawt.
Now she is.....urgh, hideous.
Wake up!
Put on your make up!
YOU WANT TO!!!

Sorry Miss Jackson

Lady Michael Jackson, or as I like to hilariously call him WHACKO JACKO, doing his best Desperate Housewife impersonation.
How is this man allowed to own a blanket???

Battle of The Bands

Total RADNESS!

Celebs Say The Darndest Things

'Cause celebs always say.....what they w...a...n...n...a....
or in the immortal words of Poison (from that zany ode to chubby chicks, Unskinny Bop), "what's right, what's wrong, what the hell is going on????"

Umm, does that even make sense?
Why must Wed night band practise always leave me with a hangover?

(please note, Elle has admitted to wearing a merkin in this shot...now who is the body?)

So where was I? Oh yeah...celebs...saying weird things.
Wots with tha nude CHIX?

Elle Macpherson decided to drop her lawsuit against Heidi Klum, because the Dalai Lama told her to.

MacPherson accused fellow supermodel Heidi Klum of stealing her nickname, after the German catwalk queen called herself ‘The Body’ in a television commercial. Australian MacPherson has used the moniker since it was employed to describe her in a Time magazine cover story in 1986. But the 43-year-old was so moved by the Dalai Lama’s teachings, she’s decided to let the whole spat go.

She says, “A few people have made me stop in my tracks and the Dalai Lama would be one of them. It’s no big deal for me. She can have it.”

And once again, peace settled over the world.

Now lets take a look at Ashley Judds fat, yodelling, big jawed, firecrotched sister.

Country singer Wynonna Judd is considering having a child with her second husband Dr. Roach but admits they may have to adopt because her daughter is demanding a black brother or sister.

"Grace says, 'I'd like a black sister or brother' - she's around my singers, and most of them are black - and I say, 'Be quiet and do your homework'. But I do think I may adopt."

Hmmm. Brangelina have started the joke, that got the whole world crying.

Here is a tiny horse.