Friday, June 30, 2006
Johnnys Pirate Confession.
It's no secret that I love Johnny Depp. Heck I've even got a giant poster of him above my bed, much to my various lovers' consternation.So what could Johnny say to get my knickers all aflutter? Pretty much anything! But I particularly liked this little snippet;
"I like the idea of [Jack] being ambiguous because women were thought to be bad luck on ships and these pirates would go out for years at a time," Contactmusic quotes him as saying. "So, you know, there is a possibility that one thing might leads to another. You're lonely. You have an extra ration of rum..."
WOOOOHAAAAA! Gay pirate sex! That is sooooooooooooo hawt!
source
Pam Nude For Animals
Our gal Pammy nuded up for the little bunny rabbits and sewer rats at Stella McCartneys store. Nothing says "don't kill the beavers" better than T n A.
Is it just me, or does Pammy look a little crack whorish?
Whatevs. Good on her.
"I am proud of my body, I'm proud of my skin, that's why I don't need to wear the skin of poor defenceless creatures. I don't need an innocent creature's skin to make me feel sexy."
Is Scott Baio an innocent creature? I've always fantasised about wearing his skin.
My Lowes Ad Experience
Yesterday afternoon, I took my pet beyatch, Rizzo for a walk down to our
local park.
Nothing crazy there.
BUT WAIT! There was something crazy there! A couple of nuggets were filming a Lowes ad on the soccer field!
Hell excitement already, right?
Could it get any more exciting?
Well ye, it could, and ye, in fact, it did.
Rizzo was off the leash and bolted right up to the nuggets mid filming, and started chasing their soccer ball PROP (thats an ad word). I ran up and apologised profusely to the nuggets, trying to regain control of my crazed dog.
The bigger of the nuggets said "Hey, we've got a new mascot!"
To which the smaller nugget replied, "yeah, we've got a little black dog too!".
Ha. What funny big men. Obviously I was the mascot. Not caring a whiff for nuggets or Lowes (although u can get very reasonably priced business shirts there), I acted all non-chalant, but then things took a turn for the worse...
Nugget number one announced to all and sundry "Well thats three nice pups right there".
CAN U BELIEVE THAT!?
I mean, I'm the first to admit I have a hot rack, but the last thing I expected that day, was bumping into rugby chunx in grey Lowes Tracksuits who would comment on my lady bumps.
"HMPH" I said, and then spun away with the wind flying through my hair, looking quite a bit like Julie Andrews in the opening scene of The Sound Of The Music.
It was a very dramatic constitutional.
local park.
Nothing crazy there.
BUT WAIT! There was something crazy there! A couple of nuggets were filming a Lowes ad on the soccer field!
Hell excitement already, right?
Could it get any more exciting?
Well ye, it could, and ye, in fact, it did.
Rizzo was off the leash and bolted right up to the nuggets mid filming, and started chasing their soccer ball PROP (thats an ad word). I ran up and apologised profusely to the nuggets, trying to regain control of my crazed dog.
The bigger of the nuggets said "Hey, we've got a new mascot!"
To which the smaller nugget replied, "yeah, we've got a little black dog too!".
Ha. What funny big men. Obviously I was the mascot. Not caring a whiff for nuggets or Lowes (although u can get very reasonably priced business shirts there), I acted all non-chalant, but then things took a turn for the worse...
Nugget number one announced to all and sundry "Well thats three nice pups right there".
CAN U BELIEVE THAT!?
I mean, I'm the first to admit I have a hot rack, but the last thing I expected that day, was bumping into rugby chunx in grey Lowes Tracksuits who would comment on my lady bumps.
"HMPH" I said, and then spun away with the wind flying through my hair, looking quite a bit like Julie Andrews in the opening scene of The Sound Of The Music.
It was a very dramatic constitutional.
My New Fave Tit Whore
Jodie Marsh has replaced Jordan as my favourite English hoser, after wearing this spectacular outfit to a movie premiere.
Jordan was going great until anorexia caught up with her, so sorry darls, but it's all about the Marsh now.
Are her pants even done up?
PUNK ROCK!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
new competition
wHAT does it mean????Post responses in comment field.
Prize...not sure yet.
maybe some pubic hair
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Brits Semi Naked And Pregos
I think she looks super cute!Don't Hate, Appreciate!
My body is similar, due to me carrying a beer baby.
She may have gone overboard on the tan in a can, but the black hair looks great. Go Brits, you my homegirl.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Sexy Chook
I was just trying to find a picture to use for my invitation for my Xmas In July party.
Who would have thunk that searching under the term "Sexy Santa" would produce this wonderful image?!
HAHA it makes me larff.
AM I an idiot?
(Rhetorical, folks)
Today, I order everone to listen to the album "Johnny Cash live at Folsam Prison". It be the bomb
Who would have thunk that searching under the term "Sexy Santa" would produce this wonderful image?!
HAHA it makes me larff.
AM I an idiot?
(Rhetorical, folks)
Today, I order everone to listen to the album "Johnny Cash live at Folsam Prison". It be the bombMonday, June 26, 2006
Don't Be A Hater
You know what I hate?I hate when people take it as a personal affront when you have different opinions about music to them.
On the weekend, I had a heated conversation with a friend about how I loved Fiddy Cent, and I tell you what, it was as if I'd said I like to rape babies and then eat their livers.
Admittedly I was well sauced, and I may have prefaced the conversation with "you suck, I hate you and everything you stand for, especially your small little pinhead", but odds are equally good that I was behaving like Mother Theresa and ozzing love and affection.
The bouncer at the pub overheard our conversation and said to me "that guy has problems. Who cares what music you listen to. You're a fox" (note: I may have imagined this interlude).
Now I'm not saying I ain't no hypocrite. I would never kiss someone who likes Coldplay, and roller bladers would not be widdled on if they were on fire, by me, anyway.
But, c'mon! It's me, wiz. I am so awesome, anything I like is automatically awesome by association.
Who cares if I want to dance around a pole to "dontchya" by The Pussycat Dolls?! And big whoop, I think Rick Astley was a musical genius.
Life's too short to ostracise me 'cause I love Chingy.
Don't be a hater.
"To all the people who never gave love, and continue to deny me 'cuz of what I look like: suck my dick you fucks!!!" - Eminem.
So there.
RIP Aaron Spelling
Aaron Spelling is rocking with the angels after succumbing to a rarely heard of affliction the experts are refferring to as 'death'.Not only was aaron the great mind behind hits such as 90210 and Dynsaty, he produced The Boy In The Plastic Bubble, where, inspired by his recent acquisition of a Tori, he inserted the line "My Tori's not a freak!" 'Son' was later substituted for 'Tori' in an effort to ensure continuity and plot progression, but it was still a great moment in celluloid history.
Thanx for providing 50% of Tori Spellings DNA, sir. It was great that she went to school with Monica Lewinsky, and my favourite part in Mons book was when she recounted being the only girl in the whole school not invited to Toris pool party.
That was you, Daddy, ensuring that Tori was not only blessed with natural good looks, but the inate self esteem required to lord it over a fat little jewish kid who would one day suck the presidents doodle.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Boys Rool, Girls Drool.
I don't give a flying rim job about sports, but it's gotta be said...some of them boys are HAWT!
I watched my first soccer game a few weeks ago, and was hating it until people I was watching with taught me to focus on the men and their physiques instead of the actual game.
90 minutes of wolf whistling...tres exciting!
Anyway. Congrats to the Soceroos for last nights draw...
here is a very thrilling video Nellie sent me of people going mental at Town Hall.
Yes, mass hysteria is fun, but I gotta tell you, perving on the Brazilian team is MORE FUN. They are so fucking hot.
Go and perve on them now.
I watched my first soccer game a few weeks ago, and was hating it until people I was watching with taught me to focus on the men and their physiques instead of the actual game.
90 minutes of wolf whistling...tres exciting!
Anyway. Congrats to the Soceroos for last nights draw...
here is a very thrilling video Nellie sent me of people going mental at Town Hall.
Yes, mass hysteria is fun, but I gotta tell you, perving on the Brazilian team is MORE FUN. They are so fucking hot.
Go and perve on them now.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Funniest Memo Ever
This made me laff my fannypack off and spill sanitary products all over the floor.
A memo to the MPAA regarding the South Park Movie....
Further details HERE
A memo to the MPAA regarding the South Park Movie....
Further details HERE
Slutty Vin Diesel
I really don't think anything I write here could enhance the experience of seeing this glamour shot of Vin Diesel.Gold! Hollywood! Boomin!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Balki Becomes Mason
Congratulations to Balki Bartokomous from the fabulous sitcom Perfect Strangers for being inducted as a fully fledged Mason!
I really loved that show! Once, channel 7 had replaced Perfect Strangers with tennis for a week. On day 2 I'd had enough, and my friend and I rang up the station to lodge a formal complaint. In a shocking development two eleven year olds were listened to by the powers that be, and Wimbledon was cancelled that year.
I don't mean to sound sentimental, but I really think Balki was at his best that season, particularly in the episodes, "Hunks Like Us" and "Snow Way to Treat a Lady", Parts 1 and 2.
May no one ever make fun of your whacky accent ever again.PS. In something slightly related, here is more You Tube hilarity...Rollin With Bob Sagat. Got MY toes tapping.
Whats In My Box? Yesterday.
Yesterday, Satan woke me up and tied me to my computer chair screeching, "You may not leave this chair all day (except to pee and purchase skinny chai lattes)."
I always said that dude was alright.
So a day chained to the computer was a bit of a shock to me given my cautious approach to work.
Fortunately I have radical friends who chose to entertain me over the interweb.
So here for your enjoyment is a special edition of "What's In My Box". All from one day.
woo hoo, take that Satan!
Duncan wanted to tell you about something really cool. It's called Ninja Beastie Boys and it's at:
Well, HERE.
I actually thought this was a bit crap, but enjoyed imagining the always entertaining Duncan chuckling along to it.
Then we all fell into a YouTube K hole, and enjoyed videos old and new....
First up, the Zuiiken Girls, dancing and teaching us English.
2. Stuart picked up the ball, yodelling, "That's nothing". After he'd finished yodelling he showed us Sexy English.
3. Then my favourite Camberian funny guy, Ben, ran onto the stage clutching his belly and singing in a high operatic voice, "hee hee hee great stuff. Here's a great gay star trek rock song!"
I really love this song. Catchy and romantic. AND, There's air drumming, which is my favorite activity at the moment.
Then other YouTube songs got bandied around, but they were all from me, and they've all be seen here before...ie. Pizazz and Gem Sweater.
OK...we have left You Tube and Stuart is excited. He has been given full license to entertain me, and entertain me he does....
1. He jumps right into it with a very strange fetish video entitled Bumper Lady. WEIRD.
2. Samantha Fox card series.
3. Poseable Thumbs. I got lost on here for hours, looking at gay Ken doll sex scenarios. HAWT
4. It's an Ebay Auction. I'd Rip My 48DD Bra Off ....To BLAST THE GAS COMPANIES.
5. Body Building's Extreme Women
Then he sent me some whimsical porn which I waon't put up here.
Nellie and Caz both sent me some awesome pics of a customised pink, Hello Kitty car, but I think that deserves its own post.
Phew, I'm tired. That'll do for now. If youre driving....keep left.
I always said that dude was alright.
So a day chained to the computer was a bit of a shock to me given my cautious approach to work.
Fortunately I have radical friends who chose to entertain me over the interweb.
So here for your enjoyment is a special edition of "What's In My Box". All from one day.
woo hoo, take that Satan!
Duncan wanted to tell you about something really cool. It's called Ninja Beastie Boys and it's at:
Well, HERE.
I actually thought this was a bit crap, but enjoyed imagining the always entertaining Duncan chuckling along to it.
Then we all fell into a YouTube K hole, and enjoyed videos old and new....
First up, the Zuiiken Girls, dancing and teaching us English.
2. Stuart picked up the ball, yodelling, "That's nothing". After he'd finished yodelling he showed us Sexy English.
3. Then my favourite Camberian funny guy, Ben, ran onto the stage clutching his belly and singing in a high operatic voice, "hee hee hee great stuff. Here's a great gay star trek rock song!"
I really love this song. Catchy and romantic. AND, There's air drumming, which is my favorite activity at the moment.
Then other YouTube songs got bandied around, but they were all from me, and they've all be seen here before...ie. Pizazz and Gem Sweater.
OK...we have left You Tube and Stuart is excited. He has been given full license to entertain me, and entertain me he does....
1. He jumps right into it with a very strange fetish video entitled Bumper Lady. WEIRD.
2. Samantha Fox card series.
3. Poseable Thumbs. I got lost on here for hours, looking at gay Ken doll sex scenarios. HAWT
4. It's an Ebay Auction. I'd Rip My 48DD Bra Off ....To BLAST THE GAS COMPANIES.
5. Body Building's Extreme Women
Then he sent me some whimsical porn which I waon't put up here.
Nellie and Caz both sent me some awesome pics of a customised pink, Hello Kitty car, but I think that deserves its own post.
Phew, I'm tired. That'll do for now. If youre driving....keep left.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
In Brief
Janet Jacksons boobs are better than Tori Spellings. Have a looksy;
HAWT!
Speaking of hot cleavage, here is a cool little collection of pulp style covers for classic works from THE CANON...
And this is FUCKING HILARIOUS. If you don't laugh, I'm sorry, but you are dead.
Oh, that will do for now.
I went to Mittagong on the weekend with my lovely friends, and had my first driving lessons.
Hilarity ensued.
Pictures and commenatary coming soon
xo
HAWT!
Speaking of hot cleavage, here is a cool little collection of pulp style covers for classic works from THE CANON...
And this is FUCKING HILARIOUS. If you don't laugh, I'm sorry, but you are dead.Oh, that will do for now.
I went to Mittagong on the weekend with my lovely friends, and had my first driving lessons.
Hilarity ensued.
Pictures and commenatary coming soon
xo
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Maccas Hoes
I hated that legless wonder who married Paul.
Well now these awesomely wrong pics of her in the nuddy have come out. GO here to see the rest of the pics, 'cause as u can see, lawyers are watching me and thats creepy.
Heather has spoken out about these pictures;
"This photo shoot, undertaken approximately 20 years ago, was for the purpose of a 'lover's guide' to caring relationships and instructive sex in the same way as are many other books on the market. The photo shoot was not pornographic or for the purposes of gratification of the viewer."
Sorry darlin, but I feel gratified.
And here's a weird tale about Linda joining The Smiths.
Well now these awesomely wrong pics of her in the nuddy have come out. GO here to see the rest of the pics, 'cause as u can see, lawyers are watching me and thats creepy.
Heather has spoken out about these pictures;"This photo shoot, undertaken approximately 20 years ago, was for the purpose of a 'lover's guide' to caring relationships and instructive sex in the same way as are many other books on the market. The photo shoot was not pornographic or for the purposes of gratification of the viewer."
Sorry darlin, but I feel gratified.
And here's a weird tale about Linda joining The Smiths.
Jessica Simpson Smart
HAHA, here's a funny tale circulating about boobalicious Jess;The bimbette, who's been tipped to star in the upcoming Baywatch movie, bumped into Pamela Anderson last week and stunned her by asking: "How did you guys run so slowly in the show's opening scene. You know, where you're running down the beach?"
Pam, 38, who played the original CJ, was rendered speechless but after an awkward silence, patiently explained: "It was shot in slow motion." She even resisted the urge to add "Duh!"
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. So much to enjoy, even when I am covered in snot and damp rags.
I was SOOOO FUnny!
OK, I don't mean to toot my own flute, but it must be said, I AM A FUCKING FUNNY BITCH!
If you're anything like me you'll have a huge back catalogue of emails from ye olden days ...you know from around the time I first invented the internet.
Well, I got it in my head to trawl through all that crap and delete emails containing subject headings such as "Don't forget to tape tonights episode of Mr Belvedere", and LORDY, have I found gold.
Here is my response to one of those annoying 'getting to know you' chain emails my brother sent me.
I was soooo funny. Am I still funny? Tell me I'm still funny!
To : wizrulz@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: All You Need
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Used to be 11.30 in time for ET, but the whole Sembtember 11 thangs
ruined that show. Now i get up at midday in time for jerry.
2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Anna Nicole Smiths interior designer, BobbyTrendy. How Could u not
want to dine with someone who's got this to say about their sexual
actiivites, "I like to get fucked everyday, and I don't care who
does it. They can be in a wheelchair or a stroller - I don't care. I
don't even bother to look over my shoulder and see who is doing it.
I wouldn't want to strain my neck."
3. GOLD OR SILVER.
Silver! Gold is for wogs like Ross. I am a delicate irish rose.
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
Crossroads?
5. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Bold and the Beautiful and Footballers Wives
6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
A cup of coffee, two cigs and if I'm lucky, chips and gravy from
Clems.
7. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
A case of passion pop, a condom, and that guy I mercy pashed at the
Towny a few years ago, who looked like the mutant from The Goonies
with the small ears.
8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
Nup, but I can lick my own nipples!
9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
Alcohol, and knowing that people like Sophie Monk can become
household names.
10.WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Elizabeth Mary Therese Mother of God
11.BEACH, CITY, or COUNTRY?
Somewhere with a bar in the middle of a pool...doesnt matter where
12. SUMMER OR WINTER
Summer
13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Any flavour as long as it's smothered in caramel and fried.
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
katrinas special caramel deluxe popcorn
15. FAVORITE COLOR?
PINK!
16. FAVORITE CAR?
Anyhing pink with fins....like my men.
17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING?
Cheese and vegiemite
19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE?
Success and personal drive.
20. FAVORITE FLOWER?
Those giant ones that only flower once a century and smell like
rotting human flesh.
21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD
YOU WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE?
Well, i wasn't gonna say anything, but....last week I won 5 bucks on
a scratchie. Don't tell Rocky.
22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK?
BEER!
23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?
It was white, but now has pink tulle and a picture of Olivia
Newton John in safari gear as the main feature.
24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
Stoopid question! 3 methinks
.
25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO?
Somewhere with a bar in a pool....wouldnt need Depends then!
26. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Only in my personal life.
27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK:
As my mummy says "Every days a holiday for Wiz".
28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
Red, preferably in a four litre box.
29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Got trashed, threw chairs at my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend,
probably spewed, probably ended up at the Towny.
30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
Yeah, but only my skin's up for grabs....everything else is broken.
31. WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
ALL OF YOUSE....y'all have jobs!
32. WHO IS THE PERSON YOU MOST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
My brother wrote, "Wiz (My sister) She has nothing better to do."
I'll probably just keep sending it back and forth to myself.
33. WHICH FIGURE FROM HISTORY DO YOU MOST ADMIRE?
Jayne Mansfield. Her words of wisdom "If you want a better man you
have to build a better man trap", plus her heart shaped toilet,
leave me with no other choice.
34. WHICH FIGURE FROM HISTORY WOULD YOU ASSASSINATE BEFORE THEY
COULD MAKE HISTORY?
Mike from Mike and the Mechanics, so he could never record that
FUCKING FUCKED SONG the Living Years
.
35. WHICH FIGURE FROM HISTORY, WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HELP DURING
THEIR TIME?
I would have liked to have given Craig ( the ugly one) from Bros
a makeover in his heyday....it was sooooo unfair putting him in
between Matt and Luke Goss.
36. MAC OR PC?
Macs....mines spotty and blue.
37. WHICH IS CUTER; MICKEY MOUSE OR TWEETY?
Neither! I'd tweak Betty Boops Boobs though
38. WHICH SMELLS BETTER; PLAY-DOH OR A*D OINTMENT?
Play-doh. "What the fuck is A*D Ointment, is this some kind of sick
joke?" I like sniffing play doh...sometimes i lick it too.
39. WHO IS COOLER, SAMUAL L. JACKSON OR JOHN TRAVOLTA?
NEITHER!!!! The question should be who is cooler, Delta or Holly?
Answer, HOLLY!
40. IF YOU WERE A PREDATOR WHICH ONE WOULD YOU BE?
I would keep being a lady at the Town hall
41. IF YOU WERE PREY, WHICH WOULD YOU BE?
I would keep being a lady at the Town hall
THE END
To which my bro replied;
My stomach hurts, I was laughing for probably 10 minutes after I read your email, I fell off the chair and hit my head but still I managed to keep on laughing. You really are one in a million wiz, god bless you and Stay off the Fags.
He's right, even I want to take myself to third base. I am just precious.
If anyone can be bothered, copy n paste into an email and send me your witty replies (wizrulz@hotmail.com). I really don't expect much of a response to that request though.
If you're anything like me you'll have a huge back catalogue of emails from ye olden days ...you know from around the time I first invented the internet.
Well, I got it in my head to trawl through all that crap and delete emails containing subject headings such as "Don't forget to tape tonights episode of Mr Belvedere", and LORDY, have I found gold.
Here is my response to one of those annoying 'getting to know you' chain emails my brother sent me.
I was soooo funny. Am I still funny? Tell me I'm still funny!
To : wizrulz@hotmail.com
Subject : Re: All You Need
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
Used to be 11.30 in time for ET, but the whole Sembtember 11 thangs
ruined that show. Now i get up at midday in time for jerry.
2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
Anna Nicole Smiths interior designer, BobbyTrendy. How Could u not
want to dine with someone who's got this to say about their sexual
actiivites, "I like to get fucked everyday, and I don't care who
does it. They can be in a wheelchair or a stroller - I don't care. I
don't even bother to look over my shoulder and see who is doing it.
I wouldn't want to strain my neck."
3. GOLD OR SILVER.
Silver! Gold is for wogs like Ross. I am a delicate irish rose.
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
Crossroads?
5. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Bold and the Beautiful and Footballers Wives
6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
A cup of coffee, two cigs and if I'm lucky, chips and gravy from
Clems.
7. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
A case of passion pop, a condom, and that guy I mercy pashed at the
Towny a few years ago, who looked like the mutant from The Goonies
with the small ears.
8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
Nup, but I can lick my own nipples!
9. WHAT INSPIRES YOU?
Alcohol, and knowing that people like Sophie Monk can become
household names.
10.WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Elizabeth Mary Therese Mother of God
11.BEACH, CITY, or COUNTRY?
Somewhere with a bar in the middle of a pool...doesnt matter where
12. SUMMER OR WINTER
Summer
13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Any flavour as long as it's smothered in caramel and fried.
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
katrinas special caramel deluxe popcorn
15. FAVORITE COLOR?
PINK!
16. FAVORITE CAR?
Anyhing pink with fins....like my men.
17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING?
Cheese and vegiemite
19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE?
Success and personal drive.
20. FAVORITE FLOWER?
Those giant ones that only flower once a century and smell like
rotting human flesh.
21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD
YOU WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE?
Well, i wasn't gonna say anything, but....last week I won 5 bucks on
a scratchie. Don't tell Rocky.
22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK?
BEER!
23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?
It was white, but now has pink tulle and a picture of Olivia
Newton John in safari gear as the main feature.
24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
Stoopid question! 3 methinks
.
25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO?
Somewhere with a bar in a pool....wouldnt need Depends then!
26. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Only in my personal life.
27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK:
As my mummy says "Every days a holiday for Wiz".
28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
Red, preferably in a four litre box.
29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
Got trashed, threw chairs at my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend,
probably spewed, probably ended up at the Towny.
30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
Yeah, but only my skin's up for grabs....everything else is broken.
31. WHO DO YOU LEAST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
ALL OF YOUSE....y'all have jobs!
32. WHO IS THE PERSON YOU MOST EXPECT TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
My brother wrote, "Wiz (My sister) She has nothing better to do."
I'll probably just keep sending it back and forth to myself.
33. WHICH FIGURE FROM HISTORY DO YOU MOST ADMIRE?
Jayne Mansfield. Her words of wisdom "If you want a better man you
have to build a better man trap", plus her heart shaped toilet,
leave me with no other choice.
34. WHICH FIGURE FROM HISTORY WOULD YOU ASSASSINATE BEFORE THEY
COULD MAKE HISTORY?
Mike from Mike and the Mechanics, so he could never record that
FUCKING FUCKED SONG the Living Years
.
35. WHICH FIGURE FROM HISTORY, WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HELP DURING
THEIR TIME?
I would have liked to have given Craig ( the ugly one) from Bros
a makeover in his heyday....it was sooooo unfair putting him in
between Matt and Luke Goss.
36. MAC OR PC?
Macs....mines spotty and blue.
37. WHICH IS CUTER; MICKEY MOUSE OR TWEETY?
Neither! I'd tweak Betty Boops Boobs though
38. WHICH SMELLS BETTER; PLAY-DOH OR A*D OINTMENT?
Play-doh. "What the fuck is A*D Ointment, is this some kind of sick
joke?" I like sniffing play doh...sometimes i lick it too.
39. WHO IS COOLER, SAMUAL L. JACKSON OR JOHN TRAVOLTA?
NEITHER!!!! The question should be who is cooler, Delta or Holly?
Answer, HOLLY!
40. IF YOU WERE A PREDATOR WHICH ONE WOULD YOU BE?
I would keep being a lady at the Town hall
41. IF YOU WERE PREY, WHICH WOULD YOU BE?
I would keep being a lady at the Town hall
THE END
To which my bro replied;
My stomach hurts, I was laughing for probably 10 minutes after I read your email, I fell off the chair and hit my head but still I managed to keep on laughing. You really are one in a million wiz, god bless you and Stay off the Fags.
He's right, even I want to take myself to third base. I am just precious.
If anyone can be bothered, copy n paste into an email and send me your witty replies (wizrulz@hotmail.com). I really don't expect much of a response to that request though.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
More Ginger Minger
I still have loads more of these pics...I'll keep 'em cumming. The wet ones are the best.